Uzumaki Chronicles
by Yoshida Megumi-chan
Summary: Sometimes the wheels of destiny begin to turn when you do something insignificant – like introducing yourself to a traveler. And everything began from an introduction – the rise of a clan long forgotten by its own allies, and of a destroyed village hidden in whirlpools. Uzumaki Naruto is not alone anymore – he has the remains of a great power walk next to him. The other Uzumaki. AU
1. Chapter 1

_**Title:**_ Uzumaki Chronicles

 _ **Summary:**_ Sometimes the wheels of destiny begin to turn when you do something insignificant – like introducing yourself to a traveler. And everything began from an introduction – the rise of a clan long forgotten by its own allies, and of a destroyed village hidden in whirlpools. Uzumaki Naruto is not alone anymore – he has the remains of a great power walk next to him. The other Uzumakis.

 ** _Pairings_**

Since this seems to be a big deal when reading stories, I will just mainly stick to canon (which means no big focus on romantic relationships). Which, in turn, means pairings will be as follows:

OC/OC – both F/M, M/M, F/F, as well as possibly polyamorous relationships, with queerplatonic relationships and genderqueer characters in relationships also mentioned in the future;

SlightlyHinted!CanonPairings – I cannot write romance to save my life, and to be honest, this is not what the fic is truly about. Not to mention, since this is an AU and I like experimentation, if there are any pairings they may not be canon at all;

Maybe!NonCanonPairings – See above for reasoning. Also, blackkat is a devil incarnate and her rarepair hell is allconsuming. If you're someone who reads her works, I assure you, one of these chapters you're going to see a reference to her (or three, or like THREE THOUSAND because Kat is really a devil, I kid you not. Also, read Stormborn because it is amazing.);

SlightlyHinted!CanonCharacters/OC – because let's be real, crushes are things that exist. Whether they are requited or not, though, is still too early to tell.

 _ **Warnings**_

Just to clear all things up, and because I don't want to get yelled at later:

There will be the occasional Japanese phrase thrown in. The characters are speaking Japanese, and as such things like _Nee-san/Nii-san_ will be found. Also, I am going with – _dattebayo_ and all its variations. Names of jutsus will vary.

There will be explanations down for everything marked with a star, which marks my own interpretation of the Narutoverse. I tried to sneak the explanations nearer the place of their marking, but it cuts the story awfully and I gave up. I'm sorry; you'll have to scroll down to read them.

This will be a story with a heavy presence of OCs. However, no OC will be paired with a canon character (the Gaara/OC above is strictly friendship from my point of view). There will be OC character development, which automatically means less screentime for canon characters.

There will be language used in this fanfiction. It is a character trait, and it is expected to have some curses flying around. However, heavy swearing is reserved only for characters who swear on a daily basis.

There will be sexual references. Be it jokes, drunken mumbling or the like, it will be there. Also, it is not limited to straight jokes. You have been warned.

Not all characters will be straight. All non-straight characters are OCs unless information for this is specifically stated in canon.

This won't be the idealistic world of Kishimoto. The main characters are ninjas, and as such there will be gore and manipulation and whatever else that comes with the occupation. Also, my mind is pretty disturbing and dark, which will undoubtly leave a mark on my writing. And iryo-ninjutsu. Iryo-ninjutsu, its use and the reasons for its use has to be one of the goriest aspects of ninjahood.

English is not my first language. I will make mistakes I am unaware of. Please point them out to me so I can correct them.

My writing style is still under development, so I'm sure there will be drops in quality from time to time. I'll do my best to slightly tweak all written chapters every six months if I feel the grammar and vocabulary is poor, so if that worries you, you're warned.

 _ **Disclaimer:**_ I don't own Naruto, the inspirations for the characters or the fanfiction. They all belong to their owners. More information about the fanfictions that inspired this one in my profile.

 _ **Edit 21.02.2017:**_ Switching this story to present tense, because my writing style changed considerably, and besides, it's that much easier to write in. I've also rewritten the first three chapters, more or less. There should be only minor details changed, though.

* * *

It is but another normal, busy day in Konoha when the strings of Fate begin to weave what can be considered a change into one boy's life, and thus, reshape the future of the whole shinobi world.

* * *

It's almost noon on an unusually hot summer day and everyone's hurrying to go shopping and be done with it before the heat fully settles in, which results in the usual noisy crowd in the main market place. Since roughly thirty percent of the inhabitants of the village have gone outside to run one errand or another despite the weather, it's almost impossible not to be caught in a human traffic jam unless you're a full-time (thus, chuunin level or up) ninja and can travel by the roofs. This is why a particular boy weaving his way around the thick mass of villagers as if without as much as a thought, humming a cheerful tune and ignoring everyone whose eyes are on him, is such a big deal to the ANBU squad stationed nearby to monitor all travelers (which includes, of course, the newcomer).

The boy is of little below average stature, pale and thin with delicate, doll-like features. His messy dark teal hair is up in a short ponytail, and his eyes, only a few shades lighter than his hair, as if reflect the light that hits them. His attire's slightly uncommon for these lands – a short samue-like robe in teal with dove grey colored pants and black ninja sandals – but there are no pouches on his person, only a katana with a white sheath strapped on his back. Such a beautiful male who isn't a ninja but at the same time is obviously not a normal civilian would have certainly turned heads either way, as such types are most often spies, however the main reason for all the stares he's getting, both from civilians and shinobi alike, is simply because the boy can afford to be skipping down the crowded street without a problem.

Totally unaware (or uncaring) of the disruption he's causing, the boy manages to out-maneuver his way out of the busy crowd, and, obviously with a set destination in mind, rounds a corner and continues down a smaller street. After five minutes of looking around, he finally stops in front of an old wooden building next to a closed food stand. It is, as pointed out by the half-decaying sign above the door, supposed to be a music shop, albeit its obviously rundown appearance and half-hidden location are apparently enough to chase any potential clients away. The boy glances around again, as if verifying he's at the right place, and enters the shabby shop without hesitation, all the while continuing to hum his cheery melody. The bell on the door dings so pathetically at his entrance it's disheartening, however the smile on the boy's face doesn't even twitch, and he continues with his song, undisturbed.

The shopkeeper, an old and petite balding man with white hair and too many wrinkles to count, lifts his gaze from the _kokyū_ he's repairing, and stares at the newcomer in both confusion and wonder. The cyanheaded customer bows his head as a greeting and finally the hum comes to an end. He stops tapping his foot alongside the melody he's been humming, and directs an absolutely-blinding grin at the awaiting senior.

" _Konnichiwa, Oji-san*!_ " He exclaims happily. "I am in immediate need of a new _biwa,_ do you happen to have one?" Seeing the man hesitate, the boy smiles again, this time as if a little sharper. "Ah, no worries, no matter how old or broken it is, as long as I like it, I will take it, so please show me absolutely everything you have, _**ne**_ _?_ " The slightly threatening lift of his voice may have been left undetected by the shopkeeper, but that doesn't mean it doesn't do its job: five minutes later, on the workdesk are piled no less than thirty or so biwas, all old, rotten and broken, but all with beautiful designs carved and painted on them**. The wide grin that spreads on the boy's face is almost maniacal. "Now we're talking, Oji-san."

* * *

The cyanhaired boy is, again, skipping down the street, this time around considerably happier than before. On his back, above his katana, rests a pretty mauled wooden _biwa,_ painted with intricate and swirling patterns in black, gold, reddish and all tones of blue, and in his right hand is held a half-eaten stick of dango he's currently munching at. He almost skips past a colorful building, with a big tree with a swing on the side, slowing down and then stopping at the sight of a crowd of adults and kids around the entry. They're creating quite the commotion, as it can be heard three streets down from there. A school graduation, perhaps? However, as he scans everything around him, the outsider doesn't miss the boy in a vividly orange jumpsuit who's sitting on said afore-mentioned swing, moping around and looking at the crowd with a longing so very obvious on his face. The dark-haired male narrows his eyes a fraction as his eyes catch a spiral symbol on the left shoulder of the orange jacket, and, in a spur-of-the-moment decision, skips cheerily to the kid, ignoring the hurled looks of distaste and disgust to both of them.

"It seems like you're not exactly a liked fella around here, huh?" He remarks cheekily. The boy lifts his head slowly, revealing azure blue eyes, dull and lifeless. The two of them stare at one another for some time, completely silent, until the sword-carrier's face splits into a big grin. He squats in front of the (for now only assumed) Academy student, making them on the same eye-level. "No need to look so glum! You can try again!" He tries to encourage him. The blond's entire posture tenses, and the older one immediately knows he's said something wrong.

"That was my last try." The other admits, finally breaking eye contact and looking down shamefully. The traveler catches himself just before his eyes can widen. The orange-wearing kid looks around eleven, not the mandatory thirteen (or fifteen, if that really was his last possible try***) years of age that are usually expected of an Academy graduatee.

"Well, you know, you might not be the one at fault here." The tealhaired**** teen tries to cheer the blue-eyed boy up. "I have heard rumors about a shinobi from Konoha who refuses to use Ninjutsu and Genjutsu, only Taijutsu, and he's a super-powerful Jounin! I'm sure it's the same for you! You have the talent, just not to the fields they are teaching you!" The blond looks away again, ashamed.

"I… didn't pay that much attention to the lessons. They were all boring and I couldn't understand them." He mutters softly. The ponytailed male hides his wince.

"Well, I'm sure you have something you're good at, you've just not searched long enough!" Seeing that his encouragement words do nothing to soothe the child, the teen lets out a soundless sigh. Well, it can't be helped, he supposes. He has to do it. "I mean, look at me!" The boy glances at him. "What do you think I am?"

"You're a sweet-talking traveler with an unusually pretty face." He deadpans. Said traveler laughs awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Yeah, it looks that way, doesn't it?" The kid nods, completely serious, and wow, the blond should feel lucky he doesn't take offense to that. "Want me to tell you a story?"

Another nod. The cyanhead reaches out to his back, unclasping his katana (miraculously without making the musical instrument that's also attached there fall down) and bringing it forward.

"Actually, although my family aren't ninja, they are from a line of strong fighters." He tosses his sword from one to the other hand nervously. "However, no matter how hard I trained, how many times I practiced and repeated all the katas, even my five-year old cousins could beat me. The only thing I was remotely good at was swordfighting, or kenjutsu, as you shinobi call it, but even then all my achievements from that field were that I didn't completely suck at it." The boy's listening with rapt attention, gaze concentrated on the other male, as if he's revealing the secrets of life. The speaker has to force down his laughter to continue. "In the end, I threw the sword aside and, in a fit of rebelliousness, decided to learn how to sing and play an instrument." The Academy student raises his eyebrows, skeptic and _juuust_ on the verge of mocking. "Yes, when I returned everyone was pissed off, but no one really cared that I wasn't that good with anything else. ' _You'll distract our enemies better than we can, no matter how hard we try, and you can collect more information about them'_ , they said. So, even if there aren't really enemies to go against – that is just the paranoia of the old people – I can be useful in a battlefield, even if I'm not a combatant. And I even earned this." He slides the sword out of its sheath carefully, showing the blond the blade. The child gasps.

"Wha-…" The teen chuckles good-naturedly.

"Surprising, right? It was my great-great-grandfather's. There is a rumor that it was actually a blade in a biwa, but there is no proof if that's true, especially since it's a katana blade. But on the off-chance it is, they gave it to me to guard the family with it. Though, admittedly, it doesn't look like much."

"It doesn't look like much…" The boy repeats dazedly. "OF COURSE IT DOESN'T, IT'S LITERALLY A PIECE OF RUSTED SCRAP!" He screams out suddenly, jumping into a standing position and pointing at the blade. It is, indeed, a very sad picture – the metal is chipped and there almost isn't a place void of rust. The traveler blinks rapidly a few times, startled. This temper seems somehow familiar, but he can't put his finger on it…

"Um, I don't want to be invasive, but what's your name?" He inquires curiously. "Ah, by the way, I'm Isamu, nice to meet you." The traveler adds after a moment. It seems his cheering up method has worked after all (which is honestly a relief) because the kid strikes a 'victorious' and 'heroic' pose and yells for the whole yard and beyond to hear.

"Right now, you are looking at the future Hokage of Konoha, Uzumaki Naruto!"

In the following silence, the tealhead stays kneeling on the ground, unmoving. The wind blows, leaves rustle, forming a small whirlwind, and the red spiral talisman on the sword's handle flutters innocently in the air.

For what is surely the first time in his very short life, Uzumaki Isamu unceremoniously gapes.

' _What._ '

* * *

 _An almost six years old Isamu runs forward towards a plump redheaded kunoichi with seemingly impossibly long hair reaching to her ankles, grinning like a mischievous cat._

" _Kushina-nee-chan!" He jumps at her, and the woman bursts out in a cheery laugh, catching him mid-leap and spinning him around._

" _How's my favorite little cousin?" She asks, rubbing her cheek on his. Isamu squeals in laughter._

" _Now, now, Kushina, don't terrorize my son so much!" A woman in her early thirties with pine-green hair up in a high ponytail walks closer and held her hands forward, obviously waiting for her son to be returned. "Also, he's not your cousin, he's your nephew from the-" Kushina sticks out her tongue at the woman, effectively cutting her off, turns her head back to the tealhead, and begins rubbing their noses together. The kid giggles._

" _You're as stuck-up as always, Mariko! Live a little!"_

 _Mariko sniffs disdainfully, obviously getting into the role of the stuck-up mother._

" _Well, at least_ I _don't leave my husband stand there awkwardly like a tree in the middle of the sea, do I?" Kushina whips her head back so fast her neck cracks, looking at the afore-mentioned blond. He's surrounded by other curious Uzutanes and is futilely trying to shrink down as much as possible and then some._

" _Oh Holy Log! That's right! Minato!" With a hurried 'Wanna fly, cousin?', she nonchalantly throws Isamu in the direction of his mother, ignoring the crazed laugh that escapes the child's lips and the furious string of curses the mother lets out ("Don't throw my son around like a rag doll, you red shitbloke, do you think he's inherited your stone head,_ _ **HUH YOU FAT –?!**_ _") in favor of getting to her man as fast as possible._

 _With the angry roar only a seasoned Uzutane that has been in numerous clan fights could produce, the kunoichi charges at the crowd, punching her third cousin twice removed Itohara in the face ("That's the fifth time you break my nose, you bitch, stop mauling my beautiful face!"), stepping on top of her fifth cousin thrice removed Tomohime ("For the last time, Kushi-chan, I'm not a ladder!"), jumping over grandma Tsubone, unintentionally kicking her in the head and sending her sprawling on the ground ("Kids these days! If you're going to jump over someone, do it with grace! WITH_ _ **GRACE**_ _!") and landing on the back of great-grand uncle Hideyoshi, pushing him down on the grass, effectively causing him to choke on his fake teeth and almost swallow them ("Kushcsinyaaa!*cough*") before continuing to maul the rest of her relatives._

 _The other Uzushio people who have decided to stay away from the newcomer, give roars of approval of their own and jump into the melee fight. The kids younger than ten group together and watch the show, laughing hysterically, cheering random people on and making funny commentaries ("Oooh, right hook in the face of the mightiest loser Daichi-" "-Cousin Tamayori kicks the pretentious prick Shirazawa in the nuts, that has to hurt-" "Natsume is alive and kicking, ladies and gentlemen, it seems the old hag still has some fight left in her- OUCH!" "I'M ONLY THRITY-TWO YOU LITTLE SHIT!" "DON'T HIT MY BROTHER WITH YOUR SMELLY SHOES, YOU WRINKLED SNOBBY MONSTER!")._

 _Beside all the commotion, Minato stands forgotten, sweatdropping at the destruction festival unfolding before him._

" _When she said her relatives are rowdy…" he trails off, rubbing his neck awkwardly, "Well. I didn't expect that, though I really should have." A giggle sounds next to the shinobi and he glances to his right, finding there the cheerful Isamu._

" _Why did she bring you here? You weren't allowed to enter even when you two were getting married." The boy asks, turning his head in the Konoha ninja's direction with a smiling face. The light of the fires burning in the center of the compound reflect in his eyes like they're made from glass. It's a rather disturbing sight, the shinobi notes. Then the tealhead grins, showing teeth and gums. "You must've bribed her with ramen, ain't I right?"_

 _Minato returns the grin with an equally big one of his own._

" _Actually, that's the thing." The Uzutanes are finally mostly done with their friendly spar (Shirazawa the Pretentious Prick and Tamayori the Moon Princess are still spitting fire at each other – thankfully, not that literally yet – and Yutanari the Official Ramen Chief is cheering them on) and are nursing their wounds, still arguing out loud._ Very _loud. Kushina walks up to them, smiling softly, apparently correctly guessing what the two are talking about. Minato mirrors her expression. "We-"_

" _Kushina-chan!" Another female voice yells somewhere from the tents. Konoha's Yellow Flash sighs. The kunoichi turns around and waits for the woman running towards them to come closer. She has her long Indian red hair braided and placed over her chest. In her arms lies a small clothed bun. The Red Habanero's eyes widen and she edges closer._

" _Is that…?" She trails off, unsure. The Uzumaki woman nods, beaming._

" _Say hello to little Saika-chan!" The baby starts shuffling around, as if answering to her name, and opens her eyes lazily._

" _Look at her! She has your eyes, Yorinami! And she already has this much hair! Well, for a baby. Though it's not your colour… When's her birthday?" Kushina asks while simultaneously gushing, bending forward to see her new cousin better._

" _She has uncle Satoshi's dark red hair. And she's born on 15th July." Isamu adds, appearing as if out of nowhere. Hearing his voice, the baby instantly stills, ignoring Kushina's horrified mutter of '15th July, of course it would be 15th july'*****, and turns her head, as if searching for something. "Here, Saika." Isamu taps his finger on her little fists. It's instantly grabbed and clenched. The cyan-haired boy laughs. "I'm not leaving you, no need to get protective." Kushina and Minato watch the two kids in amazement._

" _Isamu-kun's taken quite a liking to Saika-chan." Yorinami whispers to her cousin, giggling. "I think they have a mutual crush on each other. Isn't it cute?" Kushina laughs awkwardly and Minato coughs._

" _Aren't they a little young for that?" The kunoichi asks, slightly spooked. The smile that grows on the mother's face is downright creepy._

" _My daughter is barely a_ month _old and she tries to sneak out to see him. I don't think I can misunderstand their relationship." She has gone extremely stiff. Another awkward laugh._

" _Sneaks out?" Minato whispers, confused. Kushina plasters a smile on her face and gestures for Minato to drop it,_ fast _…_

" _Soo… you don't approve?" …But she herself doesn't. The pale-haired woman turns to face her cousin like a robot, with a totally blank smile. The Konoha duo gulps._

" _Kushi-chan…" She trails off. Said Uzumaki is sweating profusely._

" _Is that your baby?" Isamu suddenly points to Kushina's swollen belly, successfully disrupting the tense atmosphere. Yorinami's head snaps down so fast her neck actually cracks. Suddenly everyone quiets. Shirazawa the Prick ungracefully falls on top of Her Highness Tamayori in shock. The pregnant woman looks around like a deer in highlights. Everyone from the Village Hidden in Whirpools is grinning at her with disturbing smiles._

" _Is that true, Kushina-chan?" Someone calls out slyly._

" _Are you really going to have a child, Kushina-chan?" Another adds, snorting._

 _Kushina laughs awkwardly, rubbing the back of her neck. "Yes, actually." Minato shrinks under the stares of his wife's village._

 _At the confirmation, the whole camp explodes in a multitude of conversations, no one quite sure who's talking to who._

" _And when is the baby going to be born?" Tomohime yells from somewhere in the crowd, her voice barely audible._

" _Around the start of October!" Kushina bellows back, unable to hide the grin on her face._

" _What is it – a boy or a girl?" Shirazawa adds, panting, his voice rasping from all the screaming during the fight._

" _And how're gonna name it? Want help?" Yorinami asks unperturbedly, crawling closer to her friend, with Shirazawa still lying on top of her._

" _It's a boy. And no, I have a name in mind." She shares looks with Minato._

" _What's the name then?" Isamu inquires, tugging expectantly at her dress. Kushina smiles softly down at him._

" _Uzumaki Naruto."_

* * *

"You don't believe me, do you." Naruto says dejectedly after a few moments. Isamu snaps out of his thoughts and frantically shakes his head.

"No, that's not it, I swear! I was just shocked to hear your name, that's all." That isn't a lie. The boy regards him curiously, but still guarded.

"What's so interesting about my name? It's just that: a name, and not even one of those fancy ones. You know Naruto is a ramen topping, right?" The blond snaps at him defensively. The sword-carrier barely manages to hide his wince. He doesn't want to annoy the boy.

"But it could mean maelstrom too, you know. That's a cool name, don't you think?" Naruto hums, uninterested. Isamu sweatdrops. "A-Anyway, I think you'd make a splendid Hokage."

"You're lying." The kid accuses him, standing up. The tealhead glances upwards, meeting bright blue eyes.

"I'm not. I believe in you." The younger Uzumaki twitches, as if it's something that's said to him for the first time.

"Are you-" he begins unsurely. Then rustling of leaves cuts him off. Both boys turn their heads towards the noise, one more alert than the other. A silver-haired man with a Konoha Chuunin vest is walking up to them. "Mizuki-sensei!" Naruto calls out and the man smiles. Isamu feels a sour taste in his mouth. There's something disturbing in this smile…

"Yo, Naruto. How are you? I'm sorry for the Graduation Test by the way, but I did everything I could." The orange-clad Academy student looks down, suddenly gloomy. Cat-like eyes narrow a fraction. There's no way a Chuunin working as a teacher will make such a basic mistake like bringing up a failure in front of a perfectly cheerful student. Something is amiss. "However, I may know something that would help you." The shinobi glances at the traveler, all traces of hospitality gone, as if they have frozen off his face. The message is obvious: 'Get out of here or I'll make you'. Isamu hums distractedly and stands up, ruffling the blond's hair while simultaneously making sure to engrave the feeling of his chakra signature in his mind.

"Go for it, Naruto. If it helps your dream to become a Hokage, then don't stop!" He's rewarded with a grin and a wave he gladly returns while walking away.

The teal-haired boy starts walking briskly in the direction of the Konoha gates. His work's finished. He will report the new Uzumaki to the others, and if there is a need to, he will be able to track him. There isn't any need to worry about him.

However, if this Mizuki does something to him, _anything_ that **gets** _ **him hurt**_ …

Isamu shakes his head frantically, trying to clear it from the violent thoughts. It's most likely just jealousy, anyway. Naruto is Kushina-nee-chan's son, after all, he acts so much like her, and Isamu really misses her and her antics.

He's just imagining things, the sword-carrier convinces himself.

But…

But, surely it won't hurt to glance back just one more time… Naruto has the same face as his mother, even if the coloration comes from his father. Isamu _really_ misses his aunty.

The Uzumaki throws a lax look back, over his shoulder, and freezes, his eyes going impossibly wide. His cousin has the brightest smile that's ever possible of existing shining on his face, and is jumping around in happiness. And behind him, his Mizuki-sensei is allowing a terrific smirk to bloom on his pale face. The air reeks of half-hidden bloodlust.

Then Naruto turns around, and the smirk immediately becomes a pleasant, friendly smile as the silverhead begins gesturing around with his hands. The blond is nodding along, thoughtfully, and when the teacher leaves to somewhere, the kid follows him without question.

Isamu breaks into a run, just faintly reminding himself that he's still being followed by the annoying ANBU and that he isn't allowed to follow the both of them, nor to go too fast. He reaches the Konoha square in seconds and frantically looks around for some place to hide. When he finally finds the building he's searching for, the traveler runs towards it at sonic speed, bumping into people and not even apologizing. But this is some important work he has to do, and if he doesn't reach his destination in time, the consequences will be so dire he'll never be able to live it down-!

* * *

The ANBU assigned to watch him sweatdrops. This guy obviously has quite the dump to take, if he had to run like that.

The tealhead he had been assigned to watch had run into the public bathroom like his pants were lit on fire.

Every day there are stranger and stranger people visiting Konoha, the masked shinobi muses, though it's no wonder when you count the amount of weirdos in the shinobi business. They are magnets for craziness, after all.

* * *

Isamu locks the door of the cabin and sits on the seat, exhaling quietly in relief. He isn't sure if the trick will work, but at least for now, it seems he's in luck today. The ANBU guarding him obviously don't want to watch a teenage boy take a dump today.

He brings out a scroll and a paintbrush and begins writing furiously, his Kanji becoming almost messy in the process. This has to get to the Elder the fastest way possible, or, if he's right, they will all be screwed. Royally screwed.

The Uzumaki writes out an appearance description, a name, and what has happened. Then he includes the parentage of Naruto. He's truly sorry, but this one time the wishes of the boy have to be ignored. At the bottom of his report, he adds a plea for help. There's no way he's doing this alone. And he knows which people to drag down with him, too. At this particular thought, he almost smirks. Those two will definitely kick his ass later.

Waiting for the ink to dry (and thanking all the Gods he knows by name it's quick-drying ink) before carefully rolling the scroll up, the boy slips it in his sleeve and stands up, stretching. He flushes the toilet, just in case the ANBU decide to listen in, and unlocks the door. He washes his hands thoroughly, mindful of any ink blotches that might have been left on his pale skin. It won't do if someone figured out what he has done, after all.

Isamu exits the public toilet, skipping around like a cheerful idiot, and, after asking for directions that one sweet grandma every village apparently has, takes off towards one of the numerous parks Konoha has.

He has a message to deliver.

* * *

It's almost laughably easy to infiltrate Konoha, Isamu thinks as he sneakily drops the scroll on the ground, the object _conveniently_ falling between two rocks and a bush, where no one will notice it unless they're looking for it. And it's even easier to send information to someone, the boy muses as he forms a one-handed Ram Seal and whispers 'Fuuin' before walking away like nothing has happened. The seal itself isn't that complex and only disguises the scroll as a dead mouse for a short time, but it's more than enough for the eagle summon that comes down not five minutes later and grabs the disguised scroll. The bird flies away, cawing.

Isamu smiles serenely.

Now it's just a matter of time.

* * *

A ruffled chuunin barges into one of the numerous bars Konoha has, looking positively horrified.

"Uzumaki Naruto has stolen the Forbidden Scroll!" He roars to everyone inside.

All customers turn to stare at him, in various stages of speechlessness, before one of them finally snaps out of his stupor and scowls in disdain.

"Don't go around screaming such sensitive information, you nutjob! This is not a shinobi bar – there are civilians here!" The ninja barks, pointing at one boy with dark-cyan hair who lay on his table, sleeping peacefully. Next to his head is a half-full bottle of sake. One of the ninja sneaks forward and pushes the tealhead lightly. The body thumps on the floor, dragging along the bottle with a limp arm. He's completely wasted.

"Yes, because a fifteen years old lightweight traveler can do something with that information." The chuunin snorts. "We have orders from the Hokage – search for Uzumaki Naruto and capture him, preferably without injuries."

The crowd of shinobi leers as they get out of the bar, hurling insults at the 'demon boy'. One of the nastier ones picks up the snoring civilian and throws him on the ground near the entrance of the building.

"Let's go demon-hunting!" One chuunin howls drunkenly, making the whole crowd laugh.

"Don't get carried away." A scalding voice interrupts the cacophony harshly. "We have a mission to fulfill – to retrieve the Forbidden Scroll from the Uzumaki brat and to return it to Hokage-sama. And to do that, first we'll have to find the demon." The female jounin reminds them. "But after that…" She trails off, smiling cruelly. "Well, we are allowed to bring him a little more roughed up than normal, right?"

"Mikako, you're a genius!"

"That's our Mikako-sama for you!"

"All hail the Nagasawa Shioyaki****** Stand Head!"

The crowd walks away, their ugly laughter echoing around them.

No one is left outside, save for the boy laying on the dusty road. His eyes suddenly snap open, slit-pupiled and glowing greenish-blue in the dark, and he glances at the direction in which the group of shinobi have gone. The traveler jumps to a standing position with surprising grace for a supposed civilian. Then he propels himself in the air with the confidence of a seasoned shinobi, and begins hopping from roof to roof faster and faster, until he finds himself on the edge of a forest not too far from the village.

Two figures that have been obviously standing there for a long time jump down from the tree branches, facing Isamu. The distinctly taller one by a few heads tenses.

"I'll screw you over a thousand times for that stunt, you little shit." He growls, clenching his fists and bulking his muscles even more. His dark – almost black – red hair is worn in a long spiky ponytail that seems to have a will on its own, spiking up as if hissing at the boy.

The tealhead laughs awkwardly, wringing his hands in his lap. "As much as I would have been happy to allow you to screw me over here and now, the current circumstances do not permit it. Also, your baby sister will be there to witness it all." He ends with a sunny smile. The other male stays dumbfounded for a few seconds before gritting his teeth and cracking his knuckles threateningly.

"Stop twisting my words, you bent-over-and-back shitass!" He roars, charging at the younger. A small hand clasps his wrist at the last moment, preventing the hotheaded man from attacking.

"Onii-san! Please stop this at once!" A crimson-haired girl, looking no older than eleven, begs her brother while restraining him, taking no notice of his struggle. "We are here because of clan business! You can't allow personal grudges to get a hold of you! The mission and the comrades-"

"-are always first to think about, yes, yes, I know." The older sibling mumbles, embarrassed by the scolding. Isamu hides a giggle behind a hand and a cough, and a few veins pop on the longhaired man's head. He points angrily at Isamu. "However this guy is different!" Said guy waves cheerfully. His sister sighs tiredly.

"Tetsuya-onii-san, please do a favor to me and all the people born with Uzumaki blood across the world and don't pick fights with our cousin. This is a very dangerous and important mission we cannot afford to fail, and Isamu-san is a key piece leading to said mission's success. With all this taken into consideration and with the additional knowledge that the more time we lose with your fights, the more time you two will be forced to spend together, I plead you both to be on your best behavior." The girl commands with her chin held high.

Isamu salutes with a bright grin plastered in his face. "Roger, Tsugumi-chan!"

Tetsuya scowls. "Che. As long as you don't get polite on me, I'm fine."

Tsugumi smiles serenely. "I won't, as long as you two get along nicely like friends." Both males feel shivers run up their spines. "Now, let's go." She turns to the forest. "We have a Clan Head to find and bring back, after all."

* * *

 _ **NOTES AND EXPLANATIONS:**_

 _ ***yes, I wanted to use the term 'uncle', not 'old man/grandpa'**_

 _ ****while the real, Japanese (not modern, but original) biwas are not usually decorated in any way, much less carved into (onto?) (as far as I know), this is not Japan, so understandingly the customs here are different. Since making musical instruments is, frankly, considered an art in my version of Naruto's universe, it makes sense that the crafters would want to show their 'style' a bit more, which brings us to the numerous carved and painted designs. Each is unique, which makes duplicating musical instruments made by famous crafters several times more difficult, and finding stolen ones – easier. It started as a precaution from theft back when ninjas were just rogues, as while shinobi might not know how to play on the instruments, selling them resulted in a hefty sum of money. As such, the most famous instrument-makers started to mark their works, to stop anyone from lying whose creation one such instrument was, and to make finding it once stolen easier. While now the danger of theft has drastically declined, it has become a tradition few craftsmen don't follow.**_

 _ *****such a lax program exists because all nations are in peace now, and because almost always the ones who fail are civilian-born Academy students. Ninja like these, unless on par with Jiraiya, are in canon seen as basically 'cannon fodder' or 'Red Shirts'. The shinobi who have a clan get the more prestigious missions, and in war times civvie-ninjas are sent as scouts and spies because their worth is less than the clan-born ones. It's like this in canon, as far as I have noticed. If you don't believe me, rewatch the series and count how many times when a Konoha ninja was killed brutally and easily, and was shown just for their death, was a part of a clan.**_

 _ ******this OC's hair colour is very difficult to describe – it's dark cyan, but a bit more greenish-grey, which, again, I cannot explain in one word. However, if someone is curious, then you can google 'Seta Soujiro Log Horizon' – his hair colour is the closest to the one I'm using I could find.**_

 _ *******The Ghost Festival in Japan, alternatively Chugen, is a traditional Taoist and Buddhist festival held in Asian countries. On it respect is paid to all deceased, which makes it different from the Qingming Festival (where respect is paid only for the older, if I'm not mistaken).**_

 _ ********Shioyaki Stands, for anyone who doesn't know, are stands where baked fish (most often mackerel) on a stick is sold. As the person writing the article "29 Japanese Street Foods" said, they are 'saltier than salt itself' (which is both a hint towards why exactly Mikako is an alpha bitch with a brain (yes, she has her reasons), and a stealth pun. God, I suck. So much.).**_

 _ **The Names and Characters:**_

 **Isamu –** _ **the inspiration for his character came when I was watching 'Log Horizon' and Seta Soujiro let out killing intent, then smiled cheerily at the next moment. His was the only name I choose without first checking what it means. I originally chose it because it sounded Samurai-like, and now that I know the meaning, it's even more fitting.**_ 勇 _ **,the Kanji the name is written with, means 'bravery'.**_

 **Saika –** _ **maybe my most favorite character design – I love how she looks (though for now you've only seen her as a baby). I absolutely can't wait to start writing her, it will be so fun! She's the only one so far who has no inspiration and literally has just appeared out of nowhere (except maybe that killing sword from Durarara? idek). By the way, hers is a name I put together with major help from a Kanji-Translator site, because I couldn't just let go of the name (Honestly, I love that sword!). 'Sa' or**_ 早 _ **means 'early',**_ **異** _ **or 'i' means 'uncommon', and 'ka'**_ 歌 _ **means 'song'.**_

 **Tetsuya –** _ **for those who have read Marquis Black's Naruto fanfic, this one will be easy. He's inspired by Gajeel Redfox from Fairy Tail, though they have major differences that will come up later. For the ones who know of the Iron Dragon Slayer, this one is glaringly obvious: the Kanji for 'Tetsu' is**_ 鉄 _ **and means 'iron', and the Kanji of 'ya'**_ 也 _ **means 'to be'.**_

 **Tsugumi –** _ **another Fairy Tail inspiration and this one is from Wendy, though they don't have a lot in common now, since I actually started thinking of her as another character separately from Wendy. She sounded a lot like Tsugumi to me, but I had a list of other names ready for her, mainly consisting of herbs and flowers. She was actually almost named Tsubaki, but I think Tsugumi suits her more. The 'tsu gu'**_ 次 _ **means next and the 'mi' is the Kanji for reality/truth**_ 実 _ **.**_

 _ ***I decided to include the names of the Uzumaki mentioned, but I warn: I haven't thought much about them, so the reasons for the naming are more often than not either dumb or just plain non-existent.***_

 **Mariko –** _ **inspired by real-life (former?) idol Shinoda Mariko from AKB48, but idek why, exactly. Maybe because she's so unfunny it can't even be funny, she's quite scary, and she's kind of serious (NOTE: only kind of).**_

 **Itohara – s** _ **ome kind of a mix-up between Sashihara (as in AKB48 Team A (later HKT48) Sashihara Rino) and Itano (as in Team K AKB48 ex-member Itano Tomomi) that I can't, for the life of me, explain. I'm not even sure what gender they are, exactly. I only know they love their face very much, and would rather prefer if it isn't being punched every time Kushina comes over (which is impossible).**_

 **Tomohime –** _ **again, Itano Tomomi strikes (and despite what it actually looks like now, my oshimen had always been Acchan), however, I do love Tomomi too, and it rather shows, is my humble opinion. The result – Tomo + Hime (Princess). No, I don't regret it even one bit.**_

 **Tsubone –** _ **anyone who has watched Hunter x Hunter would probably recognize Tsubone the Zoldyck Butler (aka the most badass Grandma in the whole HxH universe).**_

 **Hideyoshi –** _ **Hide from Tokyo Ghoul, anyone? (This one, I have absolutely no idea where it came from, it just… happened. Somehow).**_

 **Daichi –** _ **like Sawamura Daichi from Haikyuu (honestly the reasons are getting even more and more ridiculous but what's truth is truth)**_

 **Tamayori –** _ **Like the Japanese Goddess Tamayori-Hime. And like the card from WIXOSS. Yes, I'm serious.**_

 **Shirazawa –** _ **it first was Shiratorizawa (like the Volleyball Club from Haikyuu, again) but I wanted to include 'Yazawa' in it (like Yazawa Nico from 'Love Life' my all-time favorite). I ended up with Shirazawa and I don't even know how, but. Well. It's not like it's happened for the first time.**_

 **Natsume –** _ **this one's inspiration is the little sister of Ichigo from Yumeiro Patissiere (yes, I watched that. The two whole seasons, even. Sue me.)**_

 **Yutanari –** _ **one of Japan's numerous emperors' given name. Yes, I made him into a ramen chief. I'm not regretting anything.**_

 **Yorinami –** _ **pretty sure this is the name of shop (not really sure, I saw it somewhere in the internet once upon a time. Also, yes, I did name one of my characters like a shop that may or may not exist.)**_

Stupid mistakes I made while writing/editing this:

-Decided a suitable synonym for 'crowded' would be 'overpeopled', ha

Soooo, I really hope you like this, and have a nice day :) Bye!


	2. Chapter 2

Hello, this is Yoshida Megumi-chan on charge! The second chapter, as seen below, is here. Before you start reading that, though, I want to cover a few more things that some reviewers have raised as points, which could be interpreted as additional warnings, if you want:

1\. I will use the canon, which means it will flow as it is, however I will be changing things. As such, from the end of the original Naruto (meaning, before Shippuuden happens), this will be thought of as an AU. However, set rules will be set rules.

2\. Naruto won't be immediately powered-up, and I will not give him any kekkai genkai or doujutsu unless he is stated to have them in canon (which means he still has the Uzumaki Bloodline).

3\. This won't be a harem, for anyone who hoped it to be. True, I did say what the pairings were in the previous chapter, but this has to be said just to be sure.

4\. Also, I will not bash any characters. It's not my style, it's not my cup of tea, but the narration is often shifty and/or unreliable, so do beware of character opinions colouring the story through a major part of the fanfic.

5\. Lastly, I am still an inexperienced author. Also, English is not my first language. As such, I am bound to make stupid and obvious mistakes. If this bothers you, please do let me know, as I will have most likely missed them. The same is to be said about characters or the story as a whole. If you do not like it, please do tell me why so I can be able to correct it. If the problem is with the plot, I will most likely not change it as I have more or less figured out where it'll be going, but still consider your input. I hope we can mutually help each other.

Lastly, thank you for the views and reviews, and I hope I don't disappoint.

 _ **Disclaimer:**_ I don't own Naruto, the inspirations for the characters or the fanfiction. They all belong to their owners. More information about the fanfictions that inspired this one in my profile.

* * *

The three ninjas propel themselves up and forwards, running as fast as they can, straining their muscles until they're close to tearing. The trees around them soon become little more than a green-brown blur in the background.

"You can feel him, twit?" Tetsuya asks with a growl, jumping onto one branch to the next with ease few men of his height can muster. Isamu laughs airily and jumps over a stray branch.

"Of course I can, Tetsuya-senpai. I made sure to memorize his chakra signature and mark its presence. That's why I'm here, after all. To lead you towards the Uzutane's only hope."

The older male's fists tighten and he growls under his breath. "Don't make it sound like we're just sheep who like following you around for no fucking reason, you shi-"

The branch on his right cracks as Tsugumi jumps too hard from it. The red-haired girl turns to face both of them with an expressionless face, her head rotating precisely 90 degrees in their direction.

"I would suggest you do not finish that sentence, Aniki." Her eyes trail to the other male, who's trying to shrink away from her as unnoticeably as possible. "Go faster, Isamu-san."

"Yessir!" The boy blurts out, breaking into a mad dash into the direction where the highest concentration of Naruto's chakra is. Muscle pains or not, he will take them without even blinking if it means he gets away from a furious Tsugumi. Tetsuya follows immediately after him, cursing under his breath, running as if from fire as his sister pretends to start chasing him for real.

"She called me Aniki…" He mumbles, shivering. "She never calls me Aniki. And this is ridiculous! I've been running like crazy to reach this shitty village, now I have to continue running after a brat that obviously is an idiot if he fell for a trap like this? What does she want form me, damnit?!" Isamu laughs cheerfully next to him, jumping around on the branches like a surprisingly graceful monkey.

"I actually have a killer headache from all the memories the now dispelled Kage Bunshin I had to create to find what happened to Naruto gathered, and you do know I'm not that physically fit, as well… So I would much rather prefer it if your voice stops grating on both my ears and my nerves, Tetsuya-san."

Tetsuya flinches. Really, what's with all these Uzumaki guys going all high, mighty and polite on him now?!

"You two are awfully touchy today, aren't ya? Someone care to enlighten me as to why?" The big guy shoots at them, half-worried, half-annoyed.

""No."" Both of them answer simultaneously, snapping. The older sibling shrinks, flinching from the irritation the preteens radiate.

"Well okay then." The dark-haired man decides it's for the best to leave them be, lest they get the impression the best way to shut him up will be to skin him and hang him from the Hokage monument by his balls.

Around fifteen seconds pass in full, if not awkward silence because of the small amount of killing intent released from the two angry shinobi and the fear that Tetsuya has for both of them. Then suddenly Tsugumi's head shoots up so fast it blurs, becoming little more than a red stain for a second. Then she looks forward, tense and alarmed.

"Hurry up!" She snaps at them and propels herself from a tree trunk with way more force than what is strictly necessary. The bark cracks and splinters, and the thick tree groans. Her brother and Isamu, even angry as the later is, flinch from the sound and increase their speed to match hers. The red-haired girl's jaw is clenched so hard Tetsuya has the feeling that if he strains his ears just a little bit more, he will hear the screams of pain coming from her poor teeth.

"Why are you in such a hurry?" He questions, almost not managing to dodge a tree and succeeding to just avoid face-planting into it. A little too late he realizes that it isn't that good of an idea to ask about the same thing that makes her all jittery, but he can't take his words back and settles for just trembling and quietly awaiting his fate.

His sister's green eyes narrow a fraction. There is something off about the air, and she can feel it even without Chakra-enhanced senses. She concentrates her Chakra in her nose and immediately her sense of smell ups itself at least five times. She sniffs around carefully, lest she be attacked with something stinking so bad it makes her dizzy. Now that she can smell everything like she's normally able to, the suspicious smell's confirmed. It is so fresh and strong to her sensitive nose, and so soaked in the air it's practically nauseating. She can just imagine what it will look like if the smell has a color: rust-red bands formed only from air closing in on her, trying to suffocate her…

But she doesn't have time to revel in such morbid thoughts. Not now, at least.

"Up ahead. I smell blood." She reports dutifully, already expecting the reactions the news will provoke. As she has anticipated, the emotions instantly bleed out of the faces of the males in the team. Their eyes sharpen, their fingers twitch, their backs tense. Their posture hasn't changed at all, but their mood has shifted. They look like angry predators, ready to tear anyone apart to keep their family safe.

She's so proud of them. They _are_ able to act like real Uzutane, after all.

""His."" They state as one, and although it is supposed to be a question, it's voiced as a statement because of their monotonous tone. Tsugumi shakes her head, hiding her wince. As proud of them as she may be, 'monotonous' and 'Uzumaki' in one sentence, not to mention describing the same person, is not a good sign. Every person with a reliable head on their shoulders should know that hair-trigger people are most dangerous when they aren't showing their hair-trigger qualities, it's simple and logical. Why, she remembers that one time when Auntie Tomohime-…

But well, that's a story for another time. Now their focus isn't on past funny stories. They have work to do.

"Not his. At least I think so. It doesn't smell like an Uzumaki's blood would." Both of them nod curtly at her reassurance, but their attitude doesn't change.

Good.

However…

"We have to hurry up." The air whistles as the three Uzumaki shinobi up their speed again.

* * *

"There is a wounded person down here!" Tetsuya bellows, waving his hand towards a small field in the woods. It's half-hidden by more gigantic trees, but yes, Tsugumi can smell it just as good as before. The smell from before is coming from there.

Tsugumi jumps down without much of a thought, running to the man lying face down in the grass. His brown hair is gathered up in a ponytail and he's wearing a Konoha Chuunin vest, which is torn at the back, almost in the center of the spiral, as if something has been embedded there. The girl ignores the almost-insult hurled at her clan – she's absolutely sure almost no one remembers what the spirals are meant to represent anymore – and instead looks around for the weapon that caused it. She almost immediately spots a bloodied and discarded straight-edged Fuuma shuriken nearby, innocently reflecting the scarce light off its sharp blades. Her fingers twitch as she carefully looks over the man's wounds. He won't die from them, and it looks like nothing vital was pierced, which is a relief, but to just leave a potentially gravely-wounded person in the middle of the forest doesn't sit that well with her.

"What're ya waiting for, you idiot baby-sis, we don't have time! Who knows what's happening to that Naruto brat!" Her spiky-haired brother yells at her, and she flinches unintentionally.

He's reasonably annoyed. After all, she's the one who made both of them run like crazy to prevent any harm coming unto their future Clan Head, and now it's her who's standing in front of a Konoha ninja who isn't in an extremely immediate need of medic help, stalling their mission. They won't lose the trail, sure, but they might arrive too late because of her stopping for stupid reasons like this one. The fact that the blood she's smelled isn't that of Uzumaki Naruto but of this Konoha Chuunin doesn't mean they can allow themselves to relax – they don't want to wait until they're forced to smell their kind's blood just to move their lazy asses and go save him.

Before Tsugumi can manage to find a reasonable retort to her brother's scolding, however, the man in front of her stirs. The girl silently slides closer to him, reaching out to check his pulse. Such an action is interrupted, however, when a tanned hand shoots up, slashing with a kunai in her direction and obviously intending on splitting her face open. The red-haired girl immediately jumps back, stumbling and just barely dodging the attack. A few bright red strands of hair float down in the air, and she tsks. That was a bit too close for her liking.

The Konoha shinobi gets up, staggering and generally looking like he's drunk out of his mind, but his grip on the weapon is steady, and his posture's tense. Fierce brown eyes, burning with determination, meet mint green as the youngest Uzumaki steps back cautiously. She has to admit, she's impressed by this one.

"I won't let you get to Naruto!" The Chuunin snarls at them, still swaying, his hand sliding to his kunai pouch faster than an untrained eye can follow and the girl tenses, all jolliness dissipating from her as she readies her chakra and redirects it to her feet to make a jump.

Then there is a low 'thump' and the man stumbles lightly before beginning to fall face first in the grass. Tetsuya catches him before the Konoha shinobi's visage can meet the ground on an entirely new intimate level, and turns questioning black eyes towards the last member of their team, absolutely refusing to let himself be impressed.

Isamu brings his sheathed katana down and straps it expertly on his left hip like it isn't that much of a deal and he hasn't just knocked out a sensor ninja from behind like it's nothing. Tsugumi cracks her neck and kneels down to the unconscious form of the Chuunin her brother's holding in the air. His arms are dangling in the air and it looks kind of funny, but the girl can't allow herself to laugh at her patients, no matter how ridiculous they look.

"I'll heal him." She states instead.

No one tries to dissuade her, because all of them know that when she gets something in her head, no one can pull it out or stop her. It's a trait shared by every Uzutane in history, and it is no secret to anyone who still remembers the Clan of Longevity that all of them are a bunch of trigger-happy stubborn morons who just _won't_ die, no matter how hard one tries to decapitate them. Still, no Uzutane loves being put into a situation where their innate stubbornness can't win over the other person's, which is exactly why there have been so much of the famous 'Uzumaki Family Blood Feuds' in their formerly famous Clan.

Really, for such a fancy name it isn't a big deal: it generally consists of two idiots who can't agree on anything, blow up at each other, start fighting and then drag the whole bloody village into a giant fistfight that usually culminates in a series of explosions and strings of curses, thought up on the move. At least, that was what her grandfather has said on the matter, and Tsugumi finds the notion of the Elemental Nations calling their friendly affrays 'Family Blood Feud' to be a whole new level on the scale for ridiculous. There's nothing wrong with a healthy spar once in a while, and while it's true that such fights did apparently happen more than just 'once in a while' (more like three to five times a day, if the old and undoubtedly already senile survivors from Uzushiogakure are to be believed), they are all just ol' good-natured brawls. Honestly, the ability of other people to blow things out of proportion is absolutely ridiculous.

Then again, no one has managed to walk in unison with a child of the Spiral, unless they are one too.

And just behind her stands a perfectly illustrated example of why exactly other countries are afraid of her clan and their inherited short temper.

"What, Blueball? I thought you knew that normally the samurai of our clan used swords like yours like a bladed weapon should be used, not like a wooden stick." Tetsuya growls at his fellow clansman. The limp Konoha shinobi lays sprawled on the ground, clearly thrown carelessly on the ground by her blood so he can make grand gestures with his hands while she has been distracted. That idiot. "But that's to be expected, after all one can't polish their skills and chase children's skirts at the same time, it's obvious one of these activities has to suffer abandonment." The girl cringes. Okay, that's quite a low blow her foolish brother's just dealt on the tealhead, she can admit. And it makes him quite angry too, if his face is anything to go by; she allows a shiver to run up her spine at the murderous glint that shines in her clansman's eyes. Said sword-carrier however just laughs cheerily, as if he isn't planning the gruesome murder of her brother.

"Both my balls are blue for quite some time, Tetsuya-kun. And my sword hasn't seen sun or practice for far too long for my liking, that's true, too. Is this a formal invitation, cousin?" The roar her brother lets out as he makes to grab the front of his relative's kimono is positively deafening, and Tsugumi can only pray it does good to hide her laugh-disguised-as-a-cough.

"WHAT WAS THAT, YOU PERVERTED LITTLE-" Okay, she has seen enough. It may be all fun and games the other times, but they are on a tight schedule.

"Silence." Tsugumi commands, getting a bit annoyed herself.

Both of them immediately freeze in their places, Isamu hanging two feet from the ground because of the man holding him up. As if it's rehearsed (it has been done enough times to count it as if it is), the two Uzumaki men turn to face her, looking like they're going to piss themselves. Isamu's facial expression mirrors Tetsuya's, which is an honest rarity, and the kunoichi-in-training clicks her tongue, clearly irritated. She knows what that means well enough.

The girl kneels in front of the body of the Chuunin, ignoring the sheepish smile the samurai sends her in favor of finally getting down to heal the wounded man. Luckily, the injuries aren't deep, so she patches him up relatively easy and without wasting too much chakra on him. Before she can finish healing the man, stand up and leave, however, the brown-haired shinobi opens his eyes and stares at her confusedly for a second, as if he doesn't know where he is and what he's supposed to be doing, before his gaze hardens with resolve and suspicion.

"Wh-"

"Please keep quiet for a moment; I will finish closing your wounds shortly." She cuts him off and turns to his wounds, mildly annoyed. Can't a person heal someone without being interrupted for at least thirty seconds or more? Honestly.

The Konoha ninja just stares at the girl, speechless, as she easily treats his remaining gashes as if it's the easiest thing in the world.

"Mind telling us your name, pal?" Tetsuya growls, growing rather uneasy when he sees the look the Chuunin is giving his sister. Said person snaps his head to the tall Uzumaki, and his entire posture tenses. Tsugumi sighs. There goes her peace and quiet. Again.

"Will the favor be returned?" The scarred male questions, trying and failing to get up. The medic-nin almost growls herself.

"Please stay still or I will not be able to heal you properly. Either way it will be another twenty seconds till you can move again, so please stop making my work harder." This is more annoying than she's anticipated. It's almost like no one knows how to behave when there was an iryo-nin on the battlefield. Are all men like that? Idiots, the lot of them.

Finally, precisely eighteen seconds later, she's ready. Tsugumi gets up in one swift movement and breathes a sigh of relief. The moment he sees her move away from him, the Konoha shinobi's newly healed body immediately tenses and, intent on doing something that obviously has to be done soon, he propels himself up and forwards towards the tree branches… Or at least he would have done so, if Tetsuya doesn't reach to grab and hold him in a vice-like grip.

"No need to hurry so much, Konoha-chan. We ain't gonna hurt ya." He deliberately slurs his words out to add additional intimidation to his posture and voice, and moves aside, allowing the younger two to step forward to inspect the ninja curiously. Isamu titles his head questioningly at the young man.

"You got pretty angry when we mentioned Uzumaki Naruto," the man tenses even more, and the siblings can feel the satisfaction practically oozing from their relative's pores, "So I've got a deal for you: we help you find him, and in return, you'll tell us what exactly happened." Both Uzumaki know that Isamu's lying; he already knows the general location of their lost clansmate, however they desperately need information on him, and if the only way to gain that information is to deceive a naïve Chuunin, they are all for it. Said Chuunin hesitates, then reluctantly nods. The red-headed girl lets out a soundless sigh of relief; Isamu's persuasion skills never fail, in the end, but it still _is_ nerve-wrecking to wait for the results, no matter how many times they do it.

"We done here?" Growls Tatsuya, crossing his arms in front of his chest and frowning. "Because we've lost enough time healing this mate, who knows what's happening to that Naruto brat already…" The shinobi gasps and shoots up from the sitting position he was in. The tallest male raises his eyebrows. "Well, that seems to have gathered your attention. Now let's go before we find him splattered on the grass by that Chuunin mob in the village."

All four of them jump into the trees as one, and the tealhead hurriedly pushes forward. Tsugumi's searching for something in her back pouch, ignoring the males and paying just enough attention as to avoid the wood masses around her. Soon enough, the girl brings out two black bands and begins tying her hair up, first by dividing and tying her hair into two long pigtails, and then tying them up once more so that it looks like she had a hoop made of red hair on either side of her head. The bands are carefully tied into two ribbons, tight enough so that the hair will not get out. Bringing her head up and seeing she has fallen behind, the medic-nin makes a few long leaps, till she's next to her cousin.

Even meters in front of him and trying to ignore him, the girl still can feel the burning stare of the Konoha ninja boring in her back, precisely where her Uzu spiral is sewn. Thirteen seconds of tense silence culminate in Tsugumi turning around to face the male, scowling.

"Would you please stop staring at me like that? It's rather creepy." The man starts, and his cheeks flush. The glares he receives from both men (though Isamu's is but a habit), make him gulp.

"Err, yes. I apologize." He murmurs embarrassedly. Isamu sighs, as if resigned. His cousin catches his exhale, but before she can ask him what's wrong, the boy starts speaking, real, _actual_ exited sparkles appearing around his round face.

"What's your name, mister? And your rank? Are you an Academy Teacher?" He bombards the Chuunin with questions, leaving him with his mouth hanging. Tsugumi has to bite her tongue lightly to avoid laughing.

"Well," the man warily answers after he's able to pick his jaw from the metaphorical floor, "As I said, I'll answer only if you do the same, but that's to be expected. I am Umino Iruka, a Chuunin-ranked shinobi and a teacher in the Ninja Academy. How did you guess?" The question is directed to the sword-carrier. Said one smiles cheerfully.

"You have that studious aura around you, Umino-san. I just guessed and prayed it was right!" Not a complete lie. The newly-named Iruka's chakra reserves aren't that great for even a Chuunin, but the vest gives quite a hint about his rank. Also, his chakra has this soothing, calm presence, even if it can burn almost as brightly as an Uzutane's when he's distressed. Not to mention the curious flavor it has – really, it makes Isamu itch in curiosity even after he so much as glances at it. Those chakra types are majorly scholars.

"Well, actually, now that I have introduced myself, I have a few questions." Dark cyan eyes narrow a fraction. The Chuunin has fallen right into the trap, and hasn't even asked for information.

"Really? Ask away!" The bluenet answers, directing another grin at the Chuunin. He nods, eyes trailing the edges of the red spiral sewn into the fabric of Tsugumi's kimono.

"If I may ask why does this young lady wear one of Konoha's symbols as a Clan affiliation?" Three pairs of eyes twitch at the same time, some more noticeably than others.

"Are ya a real Konoha Teacher, huh?" Tetsuya growls out from behind the Chuunin. "Don't tell me you annoying herbivores forgot what that spiral on the back on your flak jackets? Pathetic."

"Aniki! Please do control yourself better!" The girl snaps, turning back to look at her sibling. She then turns to Iruka. "It's the symbol of our Clan, actually. We helped Konoha be founded, after all." The scarred man gapes. The spiky redheaded ninja snorts with disdain.

"Yeah. We help them build their 'great' village, and then they leave us to fend for ourselves against Kiri, Kumo and Tsuchi-"

" _Onii-sama_!" Tsugumi cuts him off, her tone incredibly offended. The tall male shrinks.

"Sorry, Tsugumi." He murmurs. The girl and the younger boy both send a disarming smile at the Chuunin. He shivers. What _is_ with that killing intent?!

"It's not Tsuchi, Tetsuya-san. It's Iwa." Isamu quietly corrects, with all the patience of someone who knows he will be ignored either way.

"I'm Uzumaki Tsugumi, a medic-nin, and that's my brother, Tetsuya and our cousin, Isamu. We're a team." The girl nonchalantly explains, dodging a tree in her way and pretending she hasn't heard her cousin say anything. She has just revealed their names and nothing more, but she hopes the Chuunin won't catch that.

* * *

Iruka's eyes narrow. Their surnames are the same as Naruto's, and they've asked for him earlier… There's a big possibility this is just an elaborate plan for kidnapping the Jinchuuriki of the Kyuubi from Konoha, no matter how ridiculous it may sound. It pains the Academy teacher to think of Naruto as just an asset to the military of their village, but sometimes you have to put everything into perspective. Which means, personal feelings aside, even if they _are_ his real family and they don't care about what's sealed in his student, he won't be allowed to leave with them. But that-

"WHAT'S THIS DISCUSSION TURNING OUT TO BE?! IN FACT, WHY ARE WE NOT WHERE NARUTO IS ALREADY? TALKING AND THINKING ARE NOT FREE ACTIONS, YOU KNOW!" Tetsuya rages into the background, cutting all his travel companions' thoughts off. Tsugumi sighs, irritated.

"Please try not to break the fourth wall too much, brother. You could get arrested for that, you know."

"What?" Iruka looks incredibly confused. Tsugumi sighs again.

"Nothing, Iruka-san. It's about a subject only the Uzutane have the right to know." The Academy Teacher sags, obviously disappointed no new knowledge will come his way tonight.

The red-haired girl's nose twitches, and she grimaces. How has she not been able to feel this familiar stench earlier? At the exact same time, next to her Isamu goes rigid, shoulders so tense it looks painful.

"I smell Uzumaki fear." She grinds out, jaw clenched. _And blood,_ but that she withholds for now, lest her brother decides to go berserk. A tight nod from the bluenet confirms the suspicions of the other two.

"He feels terrified." He explains cheerfully, smile still very much in place.

Iruka slips on his branch and almost falls down when he feels a wave of killing intent, too strong for three children to produce, slam down _around_ him. There's no way only the three people, even adults, to create so much KI, not without years of hard training to condition their anger to come out in such a form. And as far as he can notice, they aren't even angry at _him_ , and what he's feeling is far from the real thing , being just residual emotions they can't redirect to anyone, because they don't know to whom.

That, in theory, is possible only if a person has absolutely ridiculously big chakra reserves and has been immensely pissed off. In the real world, however, that's nigh impossible to pull off. There is no need to waste your Chakra on something silly like KI, unless it's needed in your fighting style to paralyze your opponents, and even then, it's not used that much.

However, the pressure on the Chuunin is very much real, even if not even close to be as impressive as that legendary Kiri-nin Momochi Zabuza's. These guys are very dangerous, and it isn't the first time he's rudely reminded of this. He has to be careful, because on the off chance that they decide to fight him for Naruto, the Konoha ninja's painfully aware he will lose.

The four of them jump down into another clearing, this time smaller than the first one, right between two people. Four people's muscles tighten to near impossible levels when they survey their surroundings. There, behind them, sits Naruto, clutching the Forbidden Scroll with bruised hands, breathing heavily. His orange clothes are torn and dirty, soil and blood dimming their bright color. Multiple kunai and shuriken are sticking out of his body or are strewn around him. On the other side of the grass plain, on a tree branch, stands another Konoha shinobi wearing a Chuunin vest. His silver-white hair reaches to his chin, and it's tied by his bandana-style hitai-ate. His most pronouncing feature however is the wide, disturbing and extremely bloodthirsty grin that's almost splitting his face.

"That's the Mizuki-sensei Naruto went with." Isamu states, his smile sharpening. The killing intent triples for a second, then all of it suddenly disappears, as if someone has blown off the flame of a candle. All eyes are focused on the small kunoichi in the front of the rescue group.

Tsugumi's shoulders start shaking. Her head is bowed, her hair casting a shadow over her features and covering her eyes. Her lips are quivering, even with her teeth painfully imbedded into them. In other words, the Uzumaki girl's upset. _Really_ upset. Tetsuya's whole posture tenses, his big brother instinct flaring automatically and fighting with the instinct to run and hide till this whole thing is over.

"Well, well, I admit I was a little worried when a bunch of shinobi showed up, but now I see it shouldn't have bothered me. After, what's a weak Chuunin, a guy on steroids, a tender girly boy, and a crybaby who covers her face in snot when she just sees blood, versus me, the legendary shinobi who managed to severely wound the Kyuubi? Absolutely _nothing_!" The spiky-haired male's muscles are strained to near-tearing state by just holding himself back. Tsugumi's shaking gets progressively worse with every word that leaves the silver-haired man's mouth.

This isn't exactly the development Isamu has been hoping for, although it has been quite obvious things will turn out this way. He has to do damage control before some idiot opens his mouth and digs himself deeper than Isamu can shovel him out-

"You didn't just say that to the Uzumaki Clan's future Head!" Tetsuya grinds out, snarling.

-oops, too late. The tealhead sighs as the Mizuki chick (yes, he _is_ aware the Konoha-nin is, in fact, male) starts laughing hysterically. He has a decent laugh, no matter how insane. Maybe if the ex(?)-Chuunin hasn't been trying to kill his third cousin four times removed (you won't believe how old an Uzumaki has to be to stop copulating) probably he would consider going to a date with him and maybe bed him, if Saika allows him to.

However, the matter that stands at hand is different. In particular, this fellow is not only trying to kill his cousin, but it's Kushina-nee's son, which automatically puts him on the Uzutane's death list. And he has managed to severely wound him and is bragging about it, up to boot! Such attitude is more than despicable, even from hot guys. In other words, it's _**completely unforgivable.**_

Not only he seems to think like that, since before the silver-haired man can even think about opening his loathsome mouth again, Tsugumi, now completely still, speaks quietly.

"Can I ask for repetition, Konoha Chuunin Rank Mizuki-san? I do seem to recall you mentioning just now that our Clan's presumed Heir and Head is the Jinchuuriki of the Kyuubi no Yoko, am I right, _de gozaru_?"

Both Uzumaki men recoil from her, as if burned. There it is, Isamu thinks grimly, eyes trailing over the rigid figure of their youngest teammate. Tsugumi's _de gozaru._

The Uzushio population as a whole has different verbal tics, often valid only for the clan or family they originate from. The main house of the Uzumaki Clan, for example, has had 'datteba-' and all its variations for generations. It's a verbal tic that is lost once the Uzumaki in question is pushed over their edge, which, honestly, hasn't been nearly that often, as it's one thing to royally piss off an Uzumaki, thus rendering them completely and emotionlessly coldly polite to you, and another entirely if you push them over their edge. In Iwa there is a song going something around the lines of:

' _Listen, listen well, oh nice travelman:_

 _Uzumaki badly to enrage you can,_

 _Uzumaki without tic to hear advisable it is not,_

 _but Kami above help your poor soul if you do both!'_

Or something close to that, at least, Isamu can't really be bothered to remember it right now. However, the majority of the other Uzushio clans have their verbal tics appear when they were absolutely pissed. Both types are extremely dangerous all the same, it's just that the person who's pissed them off doesn't know if they actually _have_ or not.

…There _is_ a reason why the old man Tsuchikage is still having nightmares about the Uzutane slaughter, after all. (And backpains, but that's another story for another time.)

Tetsuya's horrified face and his murmured mantra of 'she said _de gozaru_ , she said _**de gozaru**_ …' is apparently enough explanation for Iruka, as he takes a cautious step back, shielding Naruto from all of them. Isamu barely has time to think, _well, at least it wasn't_ **nano de gozaru** , when Mizuki laughs again, with as much hysterical gusto as before, nearly doubling over before hastily collecting himself and theatrically waving his arms around while ranting about how idiotic the dead last known as Uzumaki Naruto is. No, none of his performance is impressive. It's actually quite boring. And he really should train more. Tsugumi has more muscles than that pale noodle. And, speaking of her…

"If I may request all of you to step back, Tetsuya Onii-sama, Isamu Onii-sama, as I will be taking care of this dead from the neck up useless lump. I hope you are quite ready for what is expecting you, Konoha Chuunin Rank Mizuki-san, because, as you will shortly find out, I do not feel the need to hold back, _nano de gozaru_." The tealhead groans surprisingly vocally for a person supposedly in full control of his emotions.

"Bet she learned that insult from Mira and Nobuna's tea parties," is the only comment Tetsuya manages to get out before his incredibly pissed off sister propels herself towards Mizuki in what one could call a 'breaking the sound barrier' type of speed.

Iruka is left to gape and wonder about the miracles in the world when the red-haired girl rams her fist into his ex-co-instructor's gut and sends him flying back. A girl, hardly looking eleven, who is an apparent genius at medical Ninjutsu and who has super strength that rivals Kage-level ninja who can empower their hits with chakra. She's almost like the second birth of Senju Tsunade, but-

"I may be not able to stand on the pinky of the legendary Slug Sannin Senju Tsunade, but I do know some things about chakra punches and how to properly execute them, nano de gozaru." Tsugumi confesses, holding her head high and subtly trying to return the feeling in her hand. "It is not enough to knock you out, of course, because I hate leaving threads hanging without resolving them, and I think you and I still have unresolved tensions that could only be erased with a brutal beatdown, nano de gozaru." Mint green eyes narrow in a highly-mocking and even more highly-deadly glare as the silver-headed Chuunin raises from the dust, snarling. "By the way, the one who would be doing the beating will be, of course, me, nano de gozaru."

Mizuki positively _roars._ "Don't underestimate me, you stupid bitch!"

Not half a second later, there are around thirty kunai and shuriken flying at her at high speed. Tsugumi's features are unreadable except for the faint uninterested feel she's giving off. She brings her hands in front of her, right one a bit slower than the left, and in moments all weapons are laying strewn on the ground in a half-circle around her. Pale fingers clutch two metal rods that suspiciously look like fans. Naruto, having finally shaken off his surprise, stares.

"Did a girl my age just deflect a full Chuunin-level weapon assault with two metal fans in the span of four seconds." He asks flatly, disbelief making him unintentionally use polite speech on all of them. Isamu nods, cheery air sparkling around him.

"She's so cool, right? I wish _I_ was able to do that…" Tetsuya snorts. Naruto stares some more, this time at them.

"You practically had the fact that I am the Kyuubi yelled right in your faces. Why in all things holy in Ramen are you still here, and more importantly, helping me?" The tealhead looks at him, highly insulted.

"Don't curse with Ramen! Also, if it's about the fact that you are the Kyuubi Jinchuuriki, we had suspicions from the start."

"This loser here found out in the first twenty minutes he was with you." The red-haired man ads, huffing. Naruto glances at him, utterly confused.

"But we talked around five minutes max." He protests. Tetsuya snorts again.

"Yes, that you know of." The orange-clad boy turns to face Isamu. The teen laughs.

"Well, I did tell you I am rather good in spying on our family's enemies."

"…" Naruto's quiet for a second. "How much more are they gonna be at this?" He finally asks, pointing to the red-haired kunoichi, who's nonchalantly deflecting pointy things from her person with her trusty fans. Isamu shrugs.

"Until Tsugumi-chan gets bored, I guess? She doesn't usually have the opportunity to play around as much as now. And well, she _is_ royally pissed off, too." The blond frowns.

"What's she pissed off about?" He questions, unconsciously edging closer to Iruka for protection. Tetsuya sighs.

"Because he hurt you, duh. And because he made you believe you're they Kyuubi no Kitsune." Naruto stares.

"I'm not?"

"OF COURSE YOU AREN'T, YOU FOOL!" The Uzumaki male roars at his face, spit flying. "Do you call a sealing scroll a kunai, huh?!" Naruto meekly shakes his head. "And why?!"

"Because it is… sealed in the scroll?" He guesses, backing away. Isamu nods curtly, pleased with the answer.

"Following that same logic, since it also applies to you, what are you?" The teen questions warmly. The Academy student feels shivers run down his spine.

"I am… the Kyuubi's sealing scroll? Its container?" Another nod.

"Good. I'm glad you understand."

"THAT'S IT! I'M DONE PLAYING! I'LL KILL ALL OF YOU!" Mizuki screams in rage, weaving through handseals furiously and successfully cutting their conversation off.

"Warning, Large Ham incoming," Isamu mutters, rubbing his ear distractedly.

"Where did you see a large ham, dattebayo?" Naruto asks, looking around. Isamu sighs.

"It was just an expression, Naruto-sama."

"…'-sama'? Why are you calling me '-sama'?"

"DOTON: RETSUDO TENSHOU!" The silver-haired Chuunin cries out. The ground shakes, then breaks in pieces, all swirling towards Tsugumi like a spiral. She smiles.

"I like the design," she remarks, jumping up and somersaulting, bringing herself directly above Mizuki, who quickly throws three shuriken at her.

"GOTCHA!"He howls, already on the finishing handseal of another technique. "SEE THE RESULTS OF MY TRAINING! SHURIKEN KAGE BUNSHIN NO JUTSU!"

The shuriken multiply to around fifty.

"NOW YOU HAVE NO CHANCE OF ESCAPE-" Mizuki laughs crazily. The Uzumaki girl sighs and opens her fans with a flick of her wrists.

"Fuuton: Kamaitachi." She intones, slashing down on her opponent and his projectiles with her yellow fans. Gusts of wind appear and deflect all weapons while at the same time cutting up everything in range.

Tsugumi lands on the ground, flinching minutely, the barest hint of a sneer curling her lips. Her opponent struggles to get up.

"How weak." She murmurs, just loud enough for him to hear, and starts walking away slowly. Enraged once again, the silver-haired man shoots up from his position, a kunai clenched in his hand.

"DIEEEE!" He shouts, racing to the girl. She starts to turn around, surprise evident in her features, before there's an ominous crack heard, signifying a broken bone.

Isamu huffs.

"Please do not be such an idiot." He reprimands, clasping his sword into place yet again. The boy lets out an exhausted sigh, shoulders slumping, and ruffles his hair. "This is the second time in ten minutes a Konoha cretin has made me use my sword like some retarded bastardization of the nyoi." If the samurai's able to growl with a cheerful smile on his face, he'd probably have.

There's a muffled, "How does he know what a nyoi is and why is he using it to hit people with?" from Iruka no one pays any attention to.

"Can someone please now answer my questions, dattebayo?" Naruto asks, irritated. The three Uzumaki turn towards him as one and nod.

"Let's first get the introductions out of the way, how does that sound?" At the unanimous nod, Tsugumi continues. "I am Uzumaki Tsugumi, and this is my brother Uzumaki Tetsuya. Near us is our cousin, Uzumaki Isamu." The teen waves happily.

"Nice to meet you, future Uzumaki Clan Head Uzumaki Naruto-sama!" Said boy nods quietly. He doesn't know why, but this guy seriously scares him. Like, in the _Help I'm gonna piss my pants this guy is so fucking creepy_ kind of way.

"Wait." Everything suddenly clicks into place. "Does that mean I have a Clan, dattebayo?" The Uzu team shares a look.

"Maybe a Clan is stretching it a little bit too much, but we are, without doubt, a family." The tealhead answers, smiling, and this time Naruto doesn't get any shivers from it. He jumps to his feet, glowing.

"What are we waiting for, then? I gotta meet them all now, dattebayo!" He says, beaming. An awkward laugh from Isamu is all he gets as an answer.

Tsugumi coughs in her hand. "Well, you see, Naruto-sama… There are some complications to be taken into account before we do that. It would be possible to do so, if your Hokage lets us, of course." She explains, rubbing the back of her neck. Naruto stares at her, puzzled.

"Hey, what's that mean-"

"On the orders of Sandaime Hokage-sama, all of you are ordered to be brought to the Hokage's office for questioning." A voice above them sounds. The orange-clad boy looks up and gapes. On the branches above them are seated at least twenty ANBU, all of them poised for attack.

Isamu chuckles.

"That's the complications Tsugumi and I were talking about, Naruto-sama."

* * *

 _ **NOTES AND EXPLANATIONS:**_

 _ **N/A**_

 _ **Weapons:**_

 _ **Nyoi –a priest staff. They've been used in Japanese religious practices from as early as the 9**_ _ **th**_ _ **century. They've mainly used as an aid in meditation, hence, bastardization.**_

 _ **Jutsus:**_

 **Doton: Retsudo Tenshou** _ **is a Earth Release technique that causes the ground surrounding the enemy to spiral inwards on itself, burying them alive or crushing them. It's a C-Rank technique and one I think suits Mizuki the best.**_

 **Fuuton: Kamaitachi** _ **is a Wind Release technique most often seen to be used by Temari of the Sand with her giant fan.**_

 _ **The Names and Characters:**_

 **Mira –** _ **she was a character initially created only for Tsugumi's insult. However, I rather like how she turns out to be. Her name, though Japanese ('mi' or**_ 味 _ **meaning flavor and 'ra' or**_ 蔦 _ **meaning ivy) is used in European countries, which is reference to both England (and the afore mentioned insults, which are Britain English) and to Nobuna.**_

 **Nobuna –** _ **Her name is written as**_ 信奈 _**and she herself is a reference to Oda Nobuna from the anime Oda Nobuna no Yabou (who is based on the Sengoku period legend Oda Nobunaga), who tried to unite the whole Japan with two others. In the anime, she was obsessed with European things and ceremonies. As such, I would totally see her going to a tea party with Mira.**_

 _ **Also, since in this chapter there were references to the British culture, I want to say that it was not my goal to make fun of anyone/anything. However, it was my idea to use it in my work. I am extremely sorry if I offended anyone, which was not my intention.**_

 _ **Before I forget, I will try to update this every second Monday, however I will not post chapter shorter than 5k, which means that if I am suddenly hit with Writer's block, or if I have too much work, the update will be delayed.**_

 _ **Edit 26/02/2017: I suck at fighting scenes. I'm so sorry!**_


	3. Chapter 3

_**Okay, so… I guess you actually want an explanation for my lateness, especially since I promised to update every two weeks. First, however, I want to warn you that THIS IS NOT THE WHOLE CHAPTER (**_ **UPDATE: It now is, actually, the whole chapter** _ **). This is just the first part of it. I wouldn't have published this if I wasn't so sorry about my lateness. And about that…**_

 _ **The short explanation? Real Life Occurs.**_

 _ **The long explanation? Get some popcorn, this is gonna be long.**_

 _ **First, two of my classmates decided to get into a fight, which resulted in one broken nose and two stab wounds, and two barely-teenagers that were too stubborn to go to the medic. And THAT resulted in a classroom, covered in blood. I'm not joking. I was in the room. And guess who had to clean the mess up? That's right. Me. And when the two idiots decided that no, there was absolutely no way they would go to the medic no matter how much we pleaded them, who had to take care of their wounds and force them to go to the fucking medic? That was also me. The result was, I got home in shock, and was half-catatonic for the rest of the week. I could not write two sentences without wanting to cry, throw up and kill something at the same time for another week. (No, all of us are fine, the former best friends are still best friends, and really, who cares they almost murdered each other? I certainly don't. And yes, they weren't expelled. Elite school my ass.) (26/02/2017: And those two idiots are now my best friends, go figure. ANYWAY!)**_

 _ **Then I got a D and all my electronics were banned.**_

 _ **And on Friday I'm required to go to the annual Massacre-The-Pig Fest in my village. I cannot say no, obviously.**_

 _ **Then, Sunday morning will come and I will fly to Wien (26/02/2017: Oopsie, it's written Vienna in English…), where I will stay the whole damn Spring Vacation. No wifi, of course.**_

 _ **And all of this culminates in this half-written chapter. Fear not, I**_ **will** _ **complete it as soon as I can. For now, though, this is all.**_

 _ **A heartfelt 'Thank you' said to all my readers, reviewers, and those who put up with shit for me. Thanks once again!**_

 _ **Also, there was that one review for the first chapter that basically said this story is trash and that it would be reported, however I got the feeling the reviewer was offended by something in particular. I do realize it may have been only an act of spite, hate, whatever, but if something is really wrong with it, then can someone please tell me so I can fix it? I also realized I wrote Minato as 'Konoha's Yellow Lightning' instead of 'Konoha's Yellow Flash' in the previous chapter (though now it's fixed). Damn you, Japanese!**_

 _ **Enjoy please!**_

* * *

Just by watching the four fidgeting teens in front of him, Sarutobi Hiruzen can feel the crushing exhaustion pressing its very, _very_ heavy being onto him. The brats are from the Uzumaki Clan, alright. Only one of those crazy whackos can wear him out in such a short time, and now that there are four in one place, he has the feeling he would need even more sake than usual…

Okay, so he has actually watched their confrontation with the Konoha traitor Mizuki with his crystal ball, and maybe that particular event is what's wringing his composure out of him, but the old man stands by his earlier assessment: these Uzumaki fellows are going to be the death of him.

"So," the Hokage begins, catching himself before any of his weariness can slip in his voice, "what do we have here. Four Uzumaki and a Konoha Academy Teacher who beat up and almost killed _another_ Konoha Academy Teacher, traitor or not." Sharp eyes trail over all and each of them, carefully observing their body language. "This could very well be a sign for war, don't you think?"

All five people tense and try to cover their reaction, to varying degrees of success. Naruto fails spectacularly, jaw falling down from shock and almost hitting the wooden floor. The veins on the male redhead's arms bulge out, and his entire face convulses a few times before setting into an angry frown. Iruka and the girl are mostly on even grounds; the redhead's tense posture and the tightening around the brownhaired ninja's eyes is all they show their annoyance, shock and fear through. The only one who hardly shows any emotion is the cyan-haired boy, whose minute finger twitch is barely noted.

Still, it brings a frown to Sarutobi's wrinkled face. Uzumakis are usually as direct as possible with allies and people they generally don't know. The only ones they bother hiding their reactions and emotions from are either enemies or people they hate. He's very afraid of what their reactions speak about their feelings about Konoha. But that isn't the most worrying thing in this situation; actually it's quite far from it.

While it _is_ a surprise not only one, but three actual Uzumaki have met Naruto, Hiruzen's aware that the clan is hardly completely wiped out. Those stubborn bastards are born with heads harder than rock, in more ways than one would want to know. Of course one measly massacre of their whole village will leave maybe half thousand of them. That's quite expected, at least as far as he knows.

No, what's worrying is that they've called the blond a future Clan Head and expressed their undying loyalty towards him. With the way things are going, it won't be a surprise if the Jinchuuriki decides to go with his family, and sadly, that's one of the things that can never happen. No matter how much the old man cares about Naruto, and no matter how much he wants to do what makes the child happy, the harsh truth is that Uzumaki Naruto has been made to be a weapon of the Village Hidden in the Leaves, and no amount of parenting and good-wishing will change that fact.

And, whether he likes it or not, Uzumaki Naruto is going to be a good weapon for Konoha, because he has no choice, just like he has had no choice in becoming a ninja of said village. It pains the wizened Hokage to think about the boy he views as another grandson like that, but this is his family's legacy. This is what his grandmother* Mito was forced to become when she sealed the Kyuubi into herself, and what his mother Kushina was groomed to be from her very birth.

And said family is now shaping into a very possible escape from his designed job. Hiruzen has absolutely no doubt that if Naruto wants to leave the village and someone actively objects, they would be blasted into tiny smidgens before one would be able to say 'Fuuinjutsu'. And he isn't exaggerating – when an Uzumaki is pissed off, _they are pissed off._ In fact, the 'God of Shinobi' feels he should be eternally thankful that the girl in the team hadn't gone all out on that Chuunin or there exists the very real danger that forest they have been fighting in will not be standing anymore. Iruka is, by the slight frown marring his face, also mostly aware of all the points he has thought of.

The cyan-haired male suddenly smiles reassuringly at the Hokage, bringing his hands to rest over one another in front of him.

"While it must not seem that way at first, we assure you that we don't wish to obtain the Kyuubi or steal your Jinchuuriki. We just wanted to see our relative and be sure that the company he's in does not bother or shun him in any way." Which means, basically, they've tested the way all citizens of Konoha treat their cousin (?) and, by the looks of things, they haven't made the cut. Maybe they've even failed spectacularly. The fact that they have been unaware of his existence until now doesn't win any points with them, either. Maybe, somewhere far, far away, in this very moment, there is an Uzumaki Council made exclusively from Uzumaki Elders that are deciding the fate of the Village Hidden in the Leaves while they're just standing in the Hokage's Office, and betting on who'll place the most Konoha-nin heads on a stick. It's quite hard to figure out by the perfect mask of indifference and cheer placed on the teen's face.

On the other hand, next to him his huge cousin's easier to read, however it's still unnatural to have such a grasp on someone's emotions at such a young age, especially if that person's an Uzumaki. The Hokage knows right then and there that he doesn't want to become enemies with them, even forgetting the history and blood they share. If he manages to convince the whole Uzumaki family these three are coming from, Naruto'll get his family, Konoha'll get an enormous power boost, and both deflection rate from the Clan will get brought down to zero while the possibility of other Uzumakis joining the village grows. However, that will get unwanted attention from Kiri, Kumo and Iwa, neither of which they're on speaking terms with, Danzo'll most likely stick his wrinkled nose into the Clan, incurring their wrath, and Uchiha Sasuke's probably going to deflect when he finds out 'the loser' had some family left while he's all alone. The last one isn't an over-reaction, either – the Uchiha is easily angered and had a very big envious streak. While he might not deflect right now, or at all if they're careful, with the current team placement all that needs are a few years, coupled with the stress the raven-haired boy's pulling himself through, and it'll be more than enough for him to finally snap.

The Hokage sighs and turns to the cyanhead, doing everything possible to hide his worry. The teen has correctly guessed his thoughts, and that's something only a very small fraction of the people he has spoken to could claim to have done. In other words, now the biggest threat in this room is the samurai.

"If I could request you to contact your Elder or the one acting in that post, Isamu-kun." It's a well-worded order, and coupled with that it has the annoying side-effect of shaving off the pride of whoever such a tone is used onto. The addressed boy tenses a fraction more, and his smile widens a fraction, however there is no visible irritation in his posture. Hiruzen feels his eyes narrow slightly. To have such a control over one's emotions, not to mention at such an early age, it would have taken a whole life dedicated to honing the various kinds of poker faces and remembering muscle positions… No one save ROOT would have the ability to pull something like that off. There's something fishy going on here...

"Ah, so you saw that. Not that I should doubt it, but…" The boy trails off, embarrassedly rubbing the back of his neck, and bringing the shinobi out of his thoughts.

"You should not underestimate neither me nor Konoha, even as old as we are. I have learned a few tricks about spotting spies over the years." An awkward 'hehe' answers the Hokage. Still smiling, Isamu takes out a scroll and a brush and plops down on the floor.

"One letter to the Acting Clan Elder coming right away!"

The nervous gulp the tall guy makes says everything about the reaction of said Acting Clan Elder when he gets said letter.

* * *

At first glance, Uzumaki Takeshi is no more than what one would have expected from the neighboring old man – almost always drunk, yelling at the youngsters three hours a day like it was his job, and throwing stones at shameless couples who dare do things in front of his house or in public. He is, also, a man who has seen more than one would've expected when faced with his drunken dances and songs. He might've been more than just old, and diligently pretending to be senile, but everyone who knows his name knows not to get in his way. When it comes to his village, no one that remembers him doubts that he'll raze even the Sage of Six Paths' home if it's to save his family.

So when he gets information that in fact Kushina had a very much still alive son that's been living in Konoha this whole time and is in all probability a Jinchuuriki, Takeshi is understandably furious. Acting like the Clan Elder he is supposed to be for once, he sends the siblings Tsugumi and Tetsuya to assist Isamu – a marvelous spy, that boy is, though still young and inexperienced – and prays to all gods he knows that they will be alright.

So he isn't exactly sure how to react when he gets another letter from the cyan-haired teen to come into the village immediately. After much debate with both himself and the sake barrel, however, his war-honed instincts finally get their way. When he gets there, guns blazing, the ANBUs escort him to the Hokage's office, where he's faced with four sheepish-looking Uzumakis and a tired Sarutobi who's rubbing his temples. Heh. Renowned village leader or not, the kid still can't take an Uzutane for more than fifteen minutes without wishing the ground will swallow him, it seems.

Finishing his accession of the village leader, Takeshi turns his furious glare towards his younglings, who – even Isamu – are awkwardly shuffling around and looking at the floor like it's the most interesting thing ever seen or made. The Uzumaki Elder is seriously tempted to start screaming at them right then and there, but barely refrains from doing so. Though his youth has long since passed, the old man still can remember all the shenanigans he has done when he'd been but a boy, and how scolding would never work. One reaps what one sows, apparently, but honestly, he's not that annoyed at the kids. It isn't like the time when they got the whole family banned from Iwa, and were almost announced as missing-nins because they did _that_ to the Tsuchikage… And, anyway, how does one almost break the strongest Jinton user in the Five Great Nations' back with a bowl of ramen? _How?_

(Takeshi's sure that that Onoki boy is still limping and is most likely crippled for life, but oh well. It's still funny, if a bit worrying. What kids can't do with a little imagination these days…)

The point is, there's not much to be mad about. They… didn't exactly not get into trouble, and yes, now that the Hokage's explained it, they (actually, mostly Tsugumi, the calm healer girl with a soothing voice and even more soothing touch, especially for his back pains, and the one he's the least expected it from, go figure) had almost beaten a Konoha Chuunin to death, but it isn't his problem, not really, even if they _are_ his kids. It isn't his fault some dumbass wimp pissed off an already irritated Uzumaki and got what he deserved, and while he's the Acting Clan Leader, it isn't his job to keep the kids on a leash. They'll learn control and self-discipline. Someday.

Somehow.

*cough*

Anyway.

Where had he left off…? Ah, yes. The beaten half to death Chuunin traitor and how it isn't his problem. Because it isn't. Sure, he'll scold them and beat them up afterwards, and then leave them for the rest of the camp, but that's the normal procedure for accidents like this one.

Well, at least none of them are dead or crippled. The probability of that happening is almost zero, especially with Tsugumi there, but anything can happen. At least that ninja lesson they've learned. After all, Uzushio was supposed to be the safest place on earth, and look how fast it was destroyed by a bunch of cocky idiots. They did take three-fourths of the attacking force with them, yes, but the fact stands. They have to expect the unexpected, lest they get slaughtered again. Takeshi isn't going to sit by and watch as his clan gets destroyed again. Never again.

And if he has to fry a Kage or two to assure that they'll all be safe, then damnit all to the Gods, he's going to do it without even a drop of remorse.

Bringing himself out of his musings, the bald man turns to the Hokage again, flashing an almost-toothless grin at the village leader and squinting his already small eyes. The man gulps almost invisibly, and Takeshi's smile widens.

Yes, this is going to be fun.

* * *

Isamu can't help but curl a corner of his mouth upwards. It isn't often they get to see the old fart's brain working as it should, and it's a sight to see. He wants to be like that when he grows up.

If not for anything else, just to see the tortured faces of the people he's negotiating with.

The Hokage's face is even better than he anticipated.

He just can't wait until he's able to do it like Gramps too!

Well, that is, if he's able to survive after this particular scolding, the boy grimly thinks while eyeing the malicious twitch of Takeshi's fingers every time he glances at them. And that won't even the worst he'll get for dragging everyone in this mess. The rest of the clan'll beat him up till he's _meat paste_ for this. And his mother will _just_ _maybe_ kill him for this, which is a relief (she's a gentle woman, bless her soul).

 _Saika,_ on the other hand, will **positively** _**kill**_ him for this (that kid has **no soul** , damn her to hell).

Isamu closes his eyes and promptly starts praying.

* * *

All Sarutobi Hiruzen can think about an hour after that meeting is that he needs more sake. _Way_ more sake.

Also, if he finds whoever has said that it's easy to handle Uzumakis, that guy is _so getting hit with his bō staff and then getting roasted by a specifically-saved-just-for-this-kind-of-scenarios Katon jutsu._

Needless to say, the kid's Clan gets what they want: custody of Naruto, permission to stay here, permission to train him… Also, for whatever reason, permission to beat perverts up, as well as an official ban which said that they can't use ramen cups as more than ramen cups, in which there will be only ramen, and that everyone seen using a ramen cup as a weapon when not in crucial situations will be arrested and stripped from rights to eat ramen and train for a month. The faces of the three born-and-raised-as Uzumaki are… suspiciously blank when it comes to that part of the discussion for some reason that the Third Hokage is sure he doesn't want to know unless he wants to be scarred for life.

Also, why did the tealhaired boy start _praying_ in the middle of the negotiations?

And even worse, why did the two other kids follow his example?

Hiruzen is starting to think he has made a huge mistake.

A very, very huge mistake.

At least they'll hold off the actual document filling until Naruto has passed his official Genin test, which is a big relief. There's enough paperwork to last the next three centuries even without all the custody and property transfer that's awaiting him.

(The reaction of the boy when he finds out he's actually finally becoming a ninja is ridiculous, but, to the Hokage's amazement and Takeshi's amusement, when the Uzu team hears that, they just start praying harder.)

* * *

They have barely managed to convince Naruto not to say a word about his new family to anyone. He's wanted to brag to anyone and everyone that he has a clan and a family that actually loves and cherishes him, and the guesses of why, exactly, things as natural as that have to be proved, just serves to piss off the already severely pissed off Uzumakis even more.

Takeshi wants to make sure that the boy (who he's quickly starting to view as another grandson) really does make Genin, and if he doesn't, for whatever reason, well. Hiruzen has been so exhausted by the end of their negotiations, that he's missed one very crucial detail: the Uzumaki Clan don't have to be a part of the Konoha Village to train Naruto, and no one's specified _where_ they would be training him, exactly.

Isamu has been caught deceiving The Third Hokage, sure, and that's impressive in itself, but Takeshi's twice the God of Shinobi's age, at least, and has seen more horrors than the afore-mentioned man could even imagine. Things like that never really leave a person unscathed, and, in most cases, make them even more ruthless and ready to do anything to prevent these things from happening again than before.

There are still many tricks the little Sarutobi has yet to learn to recognize and rebut, and if it's in the name of his Village, Takeshi's willing to do anything and everything.

That includes watching the Village Hidden in the Leaves fall apart in case their Jinchuuriki is ever taken away.

…

After all, the Chieftain of Fortitude admits to himself, in the darkest corners of his mind, Konoha was the one who watched them fall without helping first.

* * *

Naruto passing the Genin Exam is met with mixed reactions. On one hand, he's absolutely star-struck, jumping around like he's won a three-years-free-ramen ticket, and that makes the four Uzumaki smile so wide it hurts. On the other hand, him actually _passing_ the Genin Exam means they can't lowkey kidnap him and bring him to their camp. Naruto is officially a ninja of Konoha now, which means the Uzumaki clan can, technically, be a part of the Village Hidden in the Leaves, but it puts a damper on a whole lot of plans that have to be either put off or entirely scrapped over. Either way, it isn't that pleasant of a situation.

Also, Naruto's teammates are unbelievable. After doing the barest minimum of healing she can manage while in her condition, Tsugumi tracks the Sakura girl all day, and discovers, much to her horror, that training is certainly not the first priority of the pink-haired kunoichi. After raging at length about mushy, round peaches and their beauty escapades, the redhead sits herself down, arms crossed, and sulks for the rest of the night, eventually succumbing to sleep in her sitting position and sleep-smacking anyone who tries to touch her. The next morning, she's rudely awakened by a Haruno Sakura lookalike swooning 'Sasuke-kun 3!' that's promptly kicked in the crotch with all the outrage a fourteen years old can muster. The Konoha rookie ninja turns back into her enormous monkey of a brother holding his privates and crying in pain.

(It makes her day, but she'll never admit that out loud – medics are supposed to be gentle and compassionate, not sadistic.)

* * *

Isamu is the one to volunteer for Sasuke-tracking, something Tetsuya is immensely grateful for. First off, he isn't as sneaky as his cousin (though he'd sooner die than say that to his face), and his temper is notorious back in the camp. The little Uchiha looks like an overall arrogant shit, as far as he can guess (and here he can _just_ hear his sister chiding him for judging someone so fast), and the oldest has never been good at dealing with those types of people. He typically just explodes and pounds them into the ground till their ego's down to suitable levels, but, quite obviously, that isn't going to work now. They have to be discreet and everything, after all (which Tetsuya finds more than annoying, but his opinion is almost never appreciated, especially when it's absolutely pointless).

(Also, his feet hurt like a _bitch_ – he's got chakra burns all over his feet and isn't really in the mood to track little shits. So. Isamu is taking care of it.)

So, the Uzumaki leave their Ice Prince to deal with the Fire Lizard (Naruto chokes on his spit when he hears that nickname for the first time), and instead choose to go to a tea house to have a nice, relaxing afternoon. After the tenth glare in their direction, however, Takeshi finds his patience wearing thin, and he and his children leave quite quickly, with an added crude gesture or two, courtesy of one very irate Tetsuya.

Evening finds them stuffing their faces with one of the most heavenly ramen recipes they have ever tried. (The chief – Teuchi, if Tetsuya isn't mistaken – has been wearing a very proud grin the whole time after that particular comment leaves his grandfather's lips. Simple things to make simple people** happy, he supposes.)

* * *

Isamu appears in their shared room a little after midnight, smile and posture all sharp edges and cutthroat words. He describes in almost painful detail the rotten nature of the village – most civilians take Uchiha Sasuke almost as an equal to the Hokage, which is absolutely ridiculous. It's no wonder the kid has so much problems and so little friends, the tealhead spits out in a most-controlled manner over a cup of green tea while Naruto stares at him as if seeing him for the first time; Uchiha Sasuke is expected to be everything his Clan hadn't been, but was remembered as, and that mix of coddling and inconceivable pressure have been doing an excellent job in helping the boy's slippage down the Sanity mountain.

Most of the night is spent roasting all imbecilic citizens of Konoha on fine fire, and Naruto spends hours listening to his new-found relatives unweaving his teammate's self and then weaving it back again, thinking how to help the 'poor kid'. The blond himself has taken almost no part in the discussion, though not because of lack of interest; he quips from time to time with his own guesses and propositions, but is content, for the most part, to just sit back and listen, and sees his teammate in another, if not entirely _new_ , because Naruto _does_ have eyes, light.

He's normally very loud and boisterous, and so it is very easy to forget that to do each of his pranks, he has to be a master of a few very important things: information gathering, tracking, planning, trap-planting and stealth (the orange jumpsuit isn't only a fashion statement, as many have surely thought; Naruto may not be a prodigy or a genius, at least not in the know-it-all way, but he is very, very far from stupid – combining ninja practice and his favorite things in the world is something he does frequently).

* * *

The result of staying up a night to debate about his teammates results in sleeping till the afternoon hours, but Naruto doesn't regret it even one bit. He's learned many interesting things that he's sure to remember from now on, and besides, today's the day he gets to finally visit the rest of his family, which is pretty exciting in and of itself.

If there's one thing that's bothering him, however, it's Gramps Takeshi's odd, chilling smile that resurfaces every few minutes.

(Naruto has a nagging feeling somewhere in his belly that the old man is angry at the Hokage, but he doesn't dare ask, even if he gets the kidnapping-like vibe from this whole situation. The other Uzumaki kids don't comment on it, so he just keeps his tongue behind his teeth and readies his things without as much as a complain, in fear of setting the Clan Elder off.

Some things, Naruto wisely muses, one is better off not knowing.)

* * *

The extremely pleased expression of their Clan Elder does nothing to ease the tension of the three Uzumaki – it does the exact opposite, actually. The wide smirk, which is almost splitting his wrinkled face and shows off all his crooked and missing teeth, sends shivers down the backs of all those who have the misfortune of seeing it. Even the normally dense-ish Naruto is able to notice it, and has been lightly shivering all the way towards his new home. He manages, however, to distract himself by concentrating really hard on running and jumping from branch to branch – it's a necessity to do so, because the aged man is extremely fast for supposedly just an old sack full of bones with a hurt back.

Surprisingly, it's the other Uzumakis who are lagging behind. Despite his cheerful smile, Isamu is in the very back, and Tsugumi is only a bit faster than him. Tetsuya seems neither weary, nor affected in any way, so it must be just that they're tired, the blond rationalizes. After all, they've had to run to Konoha, and unlike the older male, they're smaller – it's only logical they have less stamina than him.

* * *

Finally, after what is surely the most awkward and fear-filled hour and a half ever, Naruto manages to glimpse something white between the thick coverage of trees that kind of looks like a tent, maybe. Propelling himself as forward as he can without outrunning his guides, and keen on keeping his eyes open so as to see all without missing anything, the blond's wide grin is even brighter than before.

All of them drop from the branches into a clearing before them, and the Kyuubi Jinchuuriki feels his jaw go slack.

This… isn't really what he expected.

When they said 'something like a Clan', he had imagined a big wooden house and two, at most three families dressed in clothes similar to the ones the Uzumakis that had come for him had been wearing.

In a way, he isn't that wrong. At the same time, however, he isn't right, either.

On the grass are chaotically strewn white tents, some small and some big, some with bonfires and whole barbeque stands in front of them, some with little compact forges, some with food-, clothes- or jewelry stands. It's a just like a merchant village, but it isn't quite like the ones he'd seen before in the books the academy had given them (when he bothered to open them). In the illustrations, everything was kept bare and simple. There was hardly a splash of color, everything was either beige or brown, and the people looked unhappy and underfed.

Here though, it's nothing like that. Everything, though seemingly chaotic, is organized by an obviously self-made system, and relatively clean. The feelings he gets from the place as a whole are warm, and homey, and… just amazing! Everything's colorful and as if full of joy and life, and the people all have big grins and are talking to each other in cheerful voices. There are so many different and interesting things around, Naruto feels his neck crack a couple of times as he tries to take everything in and remember it, from the flags on the tents, the spirals on every possible surface, to the jewelry, the flamboyant silk laid on numerous stands, as well as the heavenly, mouth-watering smell of food that's in the air…

However, the most amazing thing that no other can possibly thump is the sheer amount of people that he can see walking around. The people aren't nearly as many as in Konoha, of course, but look just as busy and even more lively and happy as they do their daily tasks. Majority of them are redheads, and in many different shades ranging from close to black to almost white-pink, however he can see a few greenheads, a pretty darkish-blue and-… is that light purple?

Most of them have pale skin, and all are clad with kimonos with a red swirl on the back. Some of them are plain in color, some have beads, gold, silver and, as far as he can tell, precious stones sewn into them. Some have detached sleeves, which are significantly longer than their owners' arms. Most have flower designs woven into them, even the males, but strangely, it doesn't look feminine, but rather regal and imposing. Also, the blond notices, there are very few people with short hair, men or otherwise. The long hair is worn in many different styles, some simple like just a ponytail, and some up in intricate buns decorated with all kinds of ribbons and clips and other accessories, again looking more like they were made for royalty than for simple civilians or ninja.

Naruto's brain feels like mush. The only half-coherent thought he has is _pretty._ And after that, unbelievably, _family._

* * *

As soon as they land on the grass, everything instantly quiets down. Everyone spins to face them with speed that screams of trained shinobi, even the kids, and stare at them with unreadable expressions for a total of three seconds, before they all break out in the most deafening cheer Naruto has ever heard. For a moment he thinks he's gone deaf, but no, he can still hear the ear-splitting screams of his new family as some of them start dancing, and others start fighting to see him better. However, no one dares to step closer.

"Dattebayo…" Naruto can only mutter in the midst of all screams and cheers, astonished beyond having the ability to speak in full sentences. The whole of the Uzumaki suddenly shuts up as a whole and snaps in one motion to look at him (again). The Genin startles, looking around, gauging the expressions of the crowd confusedly and slightly afraid. In the resulting silence, one of the women in the crowd finally, after some hesitation, steps forward, lips trembling, as she looks at the blond with tears in her eyes.

"Hello, Naruto. Glad to meet you at last." The woman says, playing with her long bangs, and obviously trying to keep her voice smooth. Her hair isn't done in any way and is just hanging rather limply down her back, Naruto notices distractedly. "I am Uzumaki Natsume, and the person who will be teaching you Taijutsu. I hope we can get along." Everything quiets down again, all whispers disappearing instantly, as if awaiting his reaction. After a bit of thought, the boy decides to just proceed like he always does things – they're his family, and no one of the Uzumakis that escorted him to here have said anything about his behavior. So he immediately sends the woman with the motherly aura – thinking, just for a moment, if she resembles his mother or maybe his father, before banishing the thought – a blinding smile and makes his way towards her, sticking out a hand a bit nervously.

"I am Uzumaki Naruto, dattebayo! Nice to meetcha too!" The excited whispers return with full force.

"Just like his mother…" Is heard somewhere from the crowd, and oh, so that means his mother is (was?) an Uzumaki, but Naruto doesn't care about from where the comment had come right now, instead stacking away the information in his brain for later. He's facing a member of his Clan, a family member! He isn't allowed to mess up now! But still, it surely won't hurt if…

"Sorry if it might bother you," he hates how polite he sounds when he's nervous, but he can't help it, "but can I get a hug please?" The rest of the sentence is mumbled and the words are slurred together a little, but his speech is still understandable. Natsume barely manages to choke down her sob, and nods, opening her arms.

The young Uzumaki dashes to the awaiting arms of the woman, and buries himself into her. She kinda smells like sea and dawn, he thinks dazedly. And home. However, he doesn't allow himself the pleasantry of crying his eyes out – if he's going to be Clan Head, he has to be in control of his emotions and be cool and all. It won't do any good if he starts bawling like a baby in front of his new-found family, after all. Who knows how they will react!...

"UZUSHIO GROUP HUG!" A female voice yells somewhere left from him, and there are roars of approval from everywhere, mixed with a sniff or two and the occasional hiccup. The Spirals, as one, run towards the hugging pair, laughing and crying and mauling each other as they try to reach the blond first. In the midst of the family chaos, the dam finally breaks, and Naruto starts sobbing.

He's finally with his family.

* * *

Naruto's fine with learning anything, really, absolutely anything – even if it's history, as long as it's for his Clan and family.

Yes, he can handle a few boring theory lessons.

Okay, so maybe they aren't so boring, if only because they're new and still interesting. In the first one, they (he and his teacher, the pretty bluehead who he had seen earlier and who introduced herself as Uzumaki Mahiru) cover the traditions of the Uzumaki Clan. Everything apparently has a meaning, one that Naruto is very eager to memorize so well he can recite it in his sleep, which is part of the reason why the girl is writing everything she says on a blank scroll so that Naruto can review carefully it when they're done with the lesson. (Apparently, his penmanship is atrocious and he shouldn't write down such important things himself until it's fixed.)

"Long hair is usually traditional in Uzumakis, because, initially, our Clan was the one who kept the Shrines of the Gods safe. Rather like a miko, or a priest, would, however it's slightly different. That, however, we'll cover at a later date." She hurries to add, seeing the blond opening his mouth. The boy closes it with a snap and nods, eyebrows furrowing in concentration. "Well, I think that you're wondering why are we keeping even now, since all of us are ninja, and long hair is rather unpractical in such a choice of profession. And that is actually why I chose to bring this up today."

Naruto nods again, eyes attentive, posture tense. He looks like he's listening to an S-Rank mission briefing, which is both very cute and very funny. In fact, Mahiru is sure that if it isn't her that's sitting across the table, the boy would have been definitely grabbed and squeezed numerous times by some random squealing clansmember peeking from the entrance of the tent. As it is, she herself is barely containing both her laugh and the yell - which certainly isn't a squeal - in. The bluehead coughs delicately in her fist and continues briskly, lips twitching.

"While most of us still do worship the old Gods, as the Hidden Villages state, this is not the main reason, nor is it the most important. It is rather simple - because long hair helps us master our kekkei genkai, the Adamantine Sealing Chains." Mahiru explains, ignoring Naruto's slightly astonished look; the residual shock from learning that he actually possesses a rather famous and more than simply formidable bloodline still hasn't passed completely, it seems. His initial reaction to the news… well, _that_ had been something else. "We first channel chakra into our hair to practice moving it around." The girl describes the basics only, as theory isn't needed to master the technique. It's mainly feeling, and it's different for everyone, so no amount of cramming or studying will help the blond with that. Luckily, it seems he learns mostly on the field, just like most Uzutanes. "Only when you can fight with your hair on a roughly Chuunin-level, you're allowed to begin forming your Chains."

Seeing the bright grin Naruto is giving her, Mahiru decides not to mention that Uzushio's idea of what a Chuunin level should be is completely different from Konoha's (albeit current only) Chuunin level. There is a reason why their village was attacked by three nations and still around a hundred people had managed to survive without so much as a scratch, after all. And that's not counting those who had been injured but still stayed alive.

There's a reason why they were called 'the Village of Longevity', though Miharu doesn't think it's yet the right time to introduce Naruto to such a gory part of their Village History.

"Of course, every Uzumaki's Chains are slightly different, as you should probably know, but the principle is mostly the same." Naruto nods along, every word as if being engraved into his brain so he won't forget. "When one masters the Chains, they're allowed to cut their hair and do whatever they want with it, basically. However, most people keep them long – still doing it to uphold the tradition, I guess. And well, you have to have long hair to be a priest." Mahiru shrugs, her hand stilling over the scroll. "Also, I heard most people think kunoichi – or, well, shinobi in general – don't normally wear their hair long, so we are using it as a kind of a cover. You should know, however, that all our clansmen can fight well enough not to be hindered by simple things like hair length." There's awe burning in the boy's eyes as he watches her stand up. "We are done for now, but if you have any questions…"

"Oh!" He suddenly exclaimes, jumping up. "Isamu said that I should expect a few families at the most, but I'm pretty sure there are about two hundred people here now. How come?"

Mahiru blinks a few times to clear her head.

"Well, they have all come to greet you, of course. You are the future Clan Head, and Kushina-oba-sama's son. It is only proper. And they're not even close to two hundred–"

Naruto's mouth forms an 'o'. Then he shriekes in fright. Mahiru stares.

"Naruto-sama, what-"

"HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO REMEMBER SO MANY NAMES?! I'M ABSOLUTELY NO GOOD WITH THIS STUFF!"

Mahiru sighs.

This is going to be a long day.

* * *

It _was_ a long day, Mahiru grumbles to herself that night while massaging her head. The whole clan had decided to celebrate, which resulted in ungodly amounts of sake and general nudeness courtesy of everyone fifteen cups in. The girl had excused herself around midnight, claiming her head hurt like hell, and had tried to sleep it off. Needless to say, _that_ particular activity is nigh impossible with all the noise, though that's to be expected. It _is_ a party, after all; and not only that, it's an Uzutane the-whole-freaking-village-is-here-let's-get-drunk kind of party.

But those are only the usual reasons that lead to her vicious migraine. No matter how much water she drinks or how many times Tsugumi tries to heal her, the awful headache doesn't want to go away, and, the bluehead grimly thinks, it has a good reason not to.

Uzumaki Naruto had taken to the apparent wildness and the general debauchery of the Clan like a duck to water.

That isn't certainly a good thing.

Another wild howl, followed by a scream and an explosion resound around, mixing with the many voices of cheering people.

…

Well. At least they're getting along well, if nothing else.

…

Maybe a little _too_ well, if Mahiru's flaming tent is anything to go by.

* * *

 _ **NOTES AND EXPLANATIONS:**_

 _ ***No, Uzumaki Mito is not his direct grandmother. I just called her that, because well, how else can you call her? My village is made of almost only of my relatives, and for me every aged female is either an aunt or a grandmother. However, if there is a specific word for this, I would very much appreciate it if you could tell me what it is.**_

 _ ****Tetsuya uses 'simple' as in meaning 'normal, easy', and it's in no way an insult. BONUS: It's actually an Uzumaki Clan expression.**_

 _ **The Names and Characters:**_

 **Mahiru –** _ **she was meant to be that serious but still loving type of a big sister that's secretly mush and all that goes in that package, but I think I got a little out of it. We'll see how it turns out in the end. And she has blue hair, just in case you didn't catch that. By the way, I love drawing her. Anyway, her name means 'midday', and it was taken from Owari no Seraph's Hiiragi Mahiru (I love her).**_

 **Takeshi –** _ **he is one of my favorite characters, because come on, who doesn't love it when the always grumpy and drunk grandpa gets badass? Well, I certainly do. We will see his hidden depths later, and that is his creation. Also, since I'm not really sure if I managed to describe him properly, he's 130 cm tall, wrinkly, thin, bald and almost toothless, and when not angry, smiling a wide gummy smile with closed, squinty eyes.**_

 **Natsume –** _ **one of Kushina's numerous cousins and an example of a not so rowdy Uzumaki (because yes, lo and behold, there actually**_ **are** _ **some like that. As long as you don't piss them off, of course). She's just that average aunty down the street who beats up drunks with her dining table.**_

 _ **Okay, so if you've noticed me getting a little bit too energetic, I think I'm sugar-high, but that's kind of hard to notice (no it's not) so there. Done.**_


	4. Chapter 4

So, first things first, hi! I know I haven't updated this story for over a year, even after I promised myself I would never do that, and I'm really sorry about that (to whoever actually wanted this to be updated).

For the past two years my mental health hasn't been all that good, and last year it took a sudden dip that I didn't expect and left me, for a lack of a better term, scrambling for my footing. Thankfully I wasn't alone and for a time I was getting help, but I'm still in a bit of a sticky situation that doesn't seem to be getting any better. With exams and all those afore-mentioned mental problems, I admit I was ready to abandon this altogether and forget it even existed.

After much thinking, however, I decided to do my best and continue this.

I will be changing the tense of the story, so that when this chapter is posted it will be in present tense instead of past like it was before. My writing style changed a lot and I'm more suited to writing stories with the emphasis on emotion rather than plot, which is the total opposite of what this story was originally meant to be.

Once again, I am very sorry, both for my delay and for the changes. I do still hope you enjoy this, though.

(Also this is such a short chapter I'm so sorry I'll try not to let this happen again.)

* * *

The festivities continue well into the morning. Most of the people welcome the sunrise either drunk out of their minds, beaten up black and blue, or dead on their feet – and some of them an interesting combination of the previous three.

Naruto is one of the last to collapse from exhaustion not because he's used to this, but out of sheer willpower, as he hadn't wanted to miss anything that happened.

Takeshi finds it extremely cute, but he's not nearly senile enough yet to mention _that_ to the blond's face. He still has the odd phantom pain from when that vicious little vixen Kushina had managed to 'extract revenge' on him for the 'absolutely grave insult, dattebane!'. And the rest of the camp had laughed at him, those traitors! They're all heartless, to the last one, and that's something Takeshi will swear to be true even from the other side of the cenotaph.

One of the drunks falls on one of the numerous wooden crates they have lying around, breaking it into tiny, sharp splinters. A nearby girl, not even three, giggles out what has to be one of the most delighted laughs that have ever existed. Her brother joins her not too soon. No one moves to help the fallen, who, by the looks of it, has fallen into peaceful sleep.

His point about heartless Uzushio citizens proven, Takeshi walks away with a smile and a half-empty bottle of sake in his hand. It's never too early or too late for sake, after all.

* * *

Most of the Uzutanes have woken up by the time the sun reaches its highest point in the sky, both because they've either felt the inevitable pangs of hunger and because none from the Spiral Village has ever been comfortable sleeping when the sun is up.

So while it's unsurprising that Tsugumi is cheerfully greeted by approximately two-thirds of the camp while she's making her way to the tent of the Healers, it still manages to make her feel a bit off. She's been expecting it, of course, what with them bringing Uzumaki Kushina's son back and all, and the people of the Spiral are nothing but friendly anyway, but the number of people she calls family astonishes her now just as much as when she had first joined the camp, years ago.

As unsettling as it might still be at times, however, it's also nice, to belong.

When she rounds another corner, she just barely avoids colliding with a slightly dazed Isamu, and instead smacks into another person behind her. There's a thump, and she spins around, alarmed. The man is on his back, looking (and _smelling_ , dear Inazuri!) too hung over to process what's happening around him, She leaves him to lie on the ground after apologizing – she can't help him, and he's going to be fine soon, anyway, because sake isn't enough to knock out a Spiral (unless it isn't made by somebody from the Seisawa Clan, but that's currently irrelevant).

Instead, she walks to her cousin, who, it seems, has foregone his usual ponytail, and has left his hair down. He smiles at her (which is nothing new), but doesn't speak, and that is worrying. A silent Isamu is either very scary or very tired; Tsugumi can't decide if it's for better or worse that it's the second. She's not, however, so impolite as to not know how to deal with such a situation – they are, after all, family.

So she supports him and he supports her and they walk, slowly, to the big light green tent towering over the numerous smaller ones surrounding it, where they're undoubtedly waiting for them, and tries not to smile.

* * *

Higanbana Ran is, indeed, standing near the tent entrance, hands hidden in too loose sleeves. She greets them with a gentle smile and a small tilt of the head and leads them in, strands of blood-red hair fluttering in the wind like spider web.

Grandma Anzu looks just as ready to heal anyone and anything as ever, but the two don't think even for a moment that they'll get away from another lecture about being careful on missions she's surely readied by now. The worst thing about them is, the lectures (more like scoldings, even if no one likes to admit being scolded by a barely-four-feet granny) are never the same, and they always hit the metaphorical bullseye of the problem.

Anzu tells them to sit down on two of the beds closest to the entrance and take off their shoes and outer clothes with just a gesture of her hand, and yeah, _that's_ what Tsugumi wants to be like when she grows up – proud and gentle and authoritative, eager to heal and help but strong enough to protect what she finds precious (though another couple inches wouldn't be a bad deal, too).

Isamu finishes undressing surprisingly fast, given how slow he moves – he's sore all over, and even after she tended to him in Konoha, he's still a far cry from when he's at full power. Plus, he's barefoot – something she hasn't noticed before, how strange – so he doesn't have to fight his sandals off his feet.

Tsugumi, much to her own dismay, isn't able to do anything – she has damaged her hands pretty badly in the fight against that Chuunin Mizuki. Even after she tried to heal some of it afterwards, it hadn't done much good except leave her closer to chakra exhaustion, and her own teammates' health preceded hers.

When Elder Takeshi asked, she grossly underrated her own injuries in the vain hope of getting off with a lighter punishment. He knew she was hiding something, of course, but didn't pry and instead sent her to the medics. There she got the scolding of her life and her hands were bandaged with strict instructions to not do anything stupid until the feast was over and they could look at them more thoroughly.

Tsugumi hasn't looked at them since and has absolutely no idea what damage they've got, as using chakra was one of the things the medics told her not to do. She knows, however, how much it hurts and if the swelling and throbbing's that bad even with all the professional healing and her own healing abilities, she's not sure she wants to see exactly how much is left of her hands.

Shirosaki, another half-Uzumaki with burnt-red hair and eyes dark like night, steps in and undresses her for her instead. Trying not to pay attention at her hurt pride, Tsugumi glances at her cousin and a frowning Anzu, who's crossed her arms and looks too murderous for just tending a couple of injuries.

"Drop the Genjutsu." She commands, eyes narrowed. Isamu rubs the back of his neck sheepishly and does just that.

Tsugumi chokes on her spit and Anzu's frown deepens.

Isamu's feet have swollen to what looks like at least twice their size, with a plethora of bruises snaking up and down his calves and ankles. There are countless scratches up to his knees, and on the underside of his feet there are the tell-tale signs of chakra burns.

So that's why he wasn't wearing shoes, Tsugumi thinks dazedly, and she may be a medic, but in that moment, seeing the smile on her cousin's face and the state of his legs, it makes her sick to her bones.

And it's not the injuries, of course it isn't that – she's seen her share of horrid wounds, that comes with the job description – it's because he wasn't hurt when she checked him over, she's sure of that, and _how_ could she have fallen for his Genjutsu when she's a _medic_ , she was supposed to watch over him and make sure he comes back healthy and whole, and she allowed this to happen even though Saika had warned her–

The bandages around her arms and hands are finally removed and it's enough to snap her out of her thoughts. Still reeling, Tsugumi takes a good look at herself and, _well_ … at least her feet, though bruised, are dimensions better than Isamu's.

Her hands, on the other hand, look pretty mauled. Her right hand – the one she executed a chakra enhanced punch with – is a palette of blue and purple around the knuckles, and she knows she's broken at least a few bones (and tried, without much success, to do what she could to better the situation). Thankfully, they were mended yesterday.

Her palms are badly chakra burned – she'd been more than pushing herself when she decided to heal the others to make them appear a bit less ruffled, having been on the brink of exhaustion as well. And her reckless use of a jutsu she still hasn't mastered left her more crippled than she's ready to admit – along with several cuts along her arms.

Looking at the mess she is, remembering how close to collapsing she had been, and recalling the damage to Isamu's legs, Tsugumi can't say she's not grateful he hid his injuries from her. They both know she couldn't have managed to do anything if she knew, and they also knew she would have tried anyway.

So she nods her head in thanks, and Isamu smiles at her, this time more lively. They're okay.

* * *

Uzumaki Naruto is more than dismayed to learn that he has fallen asleep somewhere along the numerous festivities last night. It's not as if he's missed much, but the thought of sleeping and missing even a second of what his family (and isn't having a family just short of a dream? He has to repeatedly check he's not, in fact, dreaming) is doing is repulsive – especially when he has so many new names to learn and faces to remember, what with him being a future Clan Head.

It seems, however, that his more thorough introduction to his people will have to wait until a bit later, because he has to be shown around camp. Because he can't seem to find neither Tsugumi nor Isamu, who've promised him last night to be his tour guides once the excitement dies down, he has nothing to do.

He's vaguely worried, but they're on their territory, so even if they _are_ wounded (and Naruto's almost absolutely sure they are; his nose is more than just good, and he's always had a knack for figuring out people's emotions – the blunder with Mizuki shouldn't be allowed to happen again), there are people who'll take care of them.

Instead, since he's – surprisingly enough – not all that hungry, the blond decides to explore the compound (and he's calling it that, makeshift or not, no matter what anyone else says, because it's big and it's for family, _his_ family) by himself. He knows he'll probably get lost, but that's not a strong enough argument against his enormous curiosity.

* * *

He doesn't know how long he's wandered around for, drinking in everything with hungry eyes, before Mahiru finds him, but he knows it's not a small amount of time. Every time he turns, another cheerful face greets him, and he feels a bundle of warmth growing in his chest and a grin appearing on his face.

The blue-haired girl places her hands on her hips and tries to look admonishing – _tries_ , because, for some reason, Naruto can read her, can see the minute twitch the corner of her mouth makes, and knows she's _fond-amused-proud-happy_. It's easy, to read people, even though he doesn't like looking too deep most of the time, but it's one of the rare times where the person facing him is feeling something positive for him, and Naruto wants to engrave this moment in his mind and never forget it.

(Iruka-sensei might smile and joke, but it's painful to look too closely in his eyes; there is still pain that hasn't been brought to rest in there, and Naruto feels it's too rude and invasive to try and figure out what it is.

Teuchi and Ayame-nee are always happy around him, but there are ghosts clinging to them that he doesn't want to know about.

Sakura has never looked at him with warmth, only with what seems alarmingly close to hate, so he still chases after her and tries to get her agree on a date, but he never looks her in the eye.

As for the Hokage… Naruto may grin at him and talk about him all the time, but it's painful to really _look_ there too.

The old man has rarely seen _him_ through the shadows of who he can only guess are his parents. But, painful or not, the Old Man is a precious person, so Naruto grins through it and prays it won't always be like this.)

* * *

Mahiru gives him a neatly-wrapped bento (in orange!) and points to where Tsugumi and Isamu are sitting on one of the crates, surrounded by children and seemingly in a deep discussion. Most of the children are redheads, with long, straight hair, and there is laughter resonating through the air. Isamu is obviously telling them some sort of story, as he's gesturing a lot, makes funny expressions and changes his voice pitch every few sentences.

When Naruto skips closer, the kids who see him squeal and run up to him, talking one over the other. He's more than confused, doesn't know what to do at all, but Isamu calls for their attention again and disperses the small crowd with sugary promises for the next time. Naruto can feel himself smiling at the scene, but it's not exactly a happy smile even when he tries to make it one.

No one comments, thankfully. But when they walk down the road, slowly – and Naruto wants to ask, badly, but he can see his cousins' careful steps and deep, measured breaths and doesn't say anything – to meet someone called the Head Priest, they walk beside him and it's like they've built a wall behind him he can lean on. His smile turns genuine.

* * *

The two lead him in one of the biggest tents in the whole camp. It has dark blue wave-like designs at the bottom and it's sort of calling for him, for his attention, and he can't look away. Isamu and Tsugumi enter like nothing, so he just follows them and prays he doesn't do anything wrong.

It's dark inside, even with the cloth being white and the sun shining outside. There is the tell-tale, thick smell of burning incense, and Naruto immediately figures out what this place must be. Their footsteps become hushed, as if rehearsed.

There's something strange, something heavy in the atmosphere, some kind of pressure that's hard to explain but is definitely there. Something moves in the shadows of the faraway corners, and Naruto tenses.

It's a girl, barely any taller than him. She has long, unkempt red hair – at least, he suspects it's red, because it's too dark to tell. Her clothes look fancy and formal, but she's barefoot and with bandaged feet. Her eyes – still an unknown colour – are a kind of piercing like he's never seen before, and when she looks at him, Naruto feels like she's seeing in his soul. It's unbearably creepy, but he doesn't dare look away even when his instincts start screaming at him to run. After a few seconds of tense silence, the girl nods, looks away, and breaks the spell.

"He passes." Her voice is incredibly monotonous, and with how high and girlish it is, it sounds creepier than she probably wants it to. Or he's comfortable with. She looks at him again, from top to bottom. "Though none of us would have said no, either way."

The first thing that crosses Naruto's mind when he remembers himself is, ' _Why is she talking like a grandpa*?_ '. Then Isamu steps forward and bows lowly.

"Your Blessing is of utmost importance to us, Head Priest." He says, more formally than Naruto has ever heard him talk. Then he processes the actual words and – _that_ is the Head Priest of the Spiral Village?!

He swears there is some sort of emotion in her eyes for a second, something that disappears too fast to be read. Then the girl nods regally and slams her wooden stick – something Naruto hadn't noticed being there, which is very strange because it's a _very_ _big_ wooden stick – on the ground, and dust rises from the ground.

They watch as the dust settles, no one moving before the earth is calm once again.

"I expect great things from you, Child of the Spiral, Uzutane." She says formally, then turns around and walks away, to the more central parts of the enormous tent, disappearing in the shadows. Tsugumi and Isamu bow once more and motion towards the exit.

"Don't worry about what she told you at the end," Tsugumi begins once they're out of the tent, "she tells everyone that. It's nothing more than a greeting and a reminder to not forget how great you can become if you don't forget yourself."

"Well, okay," and if Naruto has to be completely honest, that calms him down a bit, "but what is an Uzutane?"

"That's what we call all who have Uzushio blood flowing in their veins," Isamu explains, then smiles. "Most don't know their clan names, because their parents didn't keep it or just weren't there, so we use Uzutane as an umbrella term. It's written as 'spiral descendant'."

"Ah." Naruto has to check how exactly to write the proper kanji later.

Now, food.

* * *

Naruto isn't sure he's not imagining it, but he's caught Isamu throw a few longing glances in the direction of the Grave Tent (as he's taken to calling it in his mind). The first few times, he ignores it, because even if he's seeing things correctly, it's not any of his business. By the time the glances become around three a minute, however, he finds himself immensely curious.

He bends sideways to Tsugumi and whispers in her ear,

"Hey! Why is Isamu always looking miserably at that tent we went to?"

Tsugumi visibly has to force down her amusement as she chews her rice slowly.

"Oh, that." The girl takes a sip of her tea. "That's because he's missing _Saika_." There are so many feelings and other things woven into the name Naruto's head starts to kind of hurt when he thinks of figuring them out.

"…She's dead?" He asks finally, a bit afraid of the answer. Tsugumi snorts and unceremoniously shoves a whole tempura ebi in her mouth. Naruto tries not to stare. And fails.

"No," she says after a while. "She's the Head Priest."

Which means this 'Saika' is the creepy girl from before, and that explains exactly nothing. Naruto is more than confused, even if he doesn't take into account that someone younger than him is in what sounds (and apparently is) such an important position. Tsugumi chuckles, as if whatever there is between Isamu and Saika is very funny.

Naruto makes a vague motion for her to elaborate, and she does so gladly.

"They're inseparable no matter where they go. Saika was more than against Isamu going out by himself, because he tends to get into trouble. She still hasn't spoken to him once since we've come back, if we exclude that formal thing, but that doesn't count anyway. I think she's angry because he got hurt really badly and then tried to hide it."

That… doesn't seem illogical, at the very least, even if there are still some things Naruto is curious about but probably doesn't want to know.

But still, Isamu's a very good-looking guy, and he settles for a girl who talks like an old fart? Even though it's better than ignoring everyone, like Sasuke, it's still a strange choice. Man, pretty people are weird.

* * *

It's not even five minutes later that someone else sits on their table. Naruto looks up and sees the Saika Who Talks Like An Old Fart. She has hair the color of dried blood (he tries not to gag at the comparison the moment he thinks of it) and it looks even more unruly than half an hour ago. Her eyes are a shocking violet, and she has a blank (but still very, very scary) glare that is currently pointed to a shrinking Isamu.

Tsugumi pretends she doesn't see her cousin shooting her pleading looks and shoves another tempura ebi in her mouth.

Naruto decides he doesn't want to get involved in this drama and follows the redhead's example.

Life is good, he thinks as he munches on an octopus nigirizushi. The amazing taste is more than worth looking like a squirrel.

* * *

Saika's not that bad, Naruto learns after a while. Sure, she still talks funny (and Naruto can't seem to choose if it's her old-fart speech or her boyish one that's stranger) and it's kind of creepy how in-tune she and Isamu are, but for the most part, it's okay.

Then there's this girl that makes Tsugumi all blushy, and it's fun to tease her even if he doesn't know who the girl is.

(It's fun to have family to tease and make fun of.)

The lunch goes fine, but after that Naruto remembers they're supposed to return to Konoha soon and it dampens his mood slightly. For all he loves his Village, for all the important people who live there (Jijii and Iruka-sensei and Teuchi-san and Ayame-nee and Sakura-chan), he can say, even if only in his mind, that maybe Konoha isn't his favorite place anymore, isn't the place for him. He feels at home in the midst of spirals and bright hair and bright eyes and bright smiles, and the people here _smile_ when they see him, they're _happy_ he's here.

But Naruto is a ninja of the Leaf now, and even as flighty his attitude towards his studies is, he knows that what he's thinking is almost treason, so he shuts the loud thoughts behind high walls and plasters a grin on his face.

* * *

Neither Isamu nor Tsugumi are able to come back to Konoha with him, something that disappoints Naruto a lot. It can't be helped as they're still recovering from their injuries, so he doesn't complain.

Tetsuya decides to pass doing the, as he called it, 'agonizing babysitting job' again, and instead goes to take a long nap. No one comments on this, so Naruto doesn't either, deducing it to be just another of those regular Uzutane things that happen.

Instead, his escorts end up being Mahiru ("No known last name, so I'm just Uzutane Mahiru when someone asks,") and Uzumaki Haruka, a seventeen-something Spiral with pretty teal eyes and hair the colour of dawn, up in a long side ponytail. The two are a strange combination – the prim and regal Miharu talking to the other girl in formal speech and Haruka answering in some strange form of dialect that sounds very pretty and very lively, like waves***.

"You talk strange, dattebayo." He says a few minutes after they hit the road. The girl turns to him, mouth open to retort, but he talks right over her because he's not done. "Can I learn how to talk like you?"

Mahiru stares at him, uncomprehending, and Haruka throws her head back and laughs. Naruto tries not to get annoyed, because really, he _might_ have said something funny that warrants such a reaction, but he doesn't know what it is.

When she's finally done, the girl looks him up and down a few times, deep in thought. Then she grins at him.

"Okay, Naruto- _han_!" She says teasingly. Naruto notices how significantly longer her vowels are, and thinks it suits her very much. "Let's teach ya the dialect Uzushio people spoke before we came to rest on Mainland!"

Naruto can _feel_ Mahiru fighting the urge to bury her head in her hands. He grins.

* * *

"…So I just make my vowels longer?"

"Tha's da gis' of i', yea." Haruka answers in an intentionally thick accent, a thoughtful frown on her face. When she opens her mouth next, she's speaking more normally. "And there are other things, ya know – like saying 'see ya naa' instead of 'sou da ne'. But they're small things, so."

"See ya naa," Naruto tries to see how the words taste in his mouth, and finds he likes the sound very much. He decides he's going to start speaking in Uzushio-ben from now on, no matter how much people laugh at him for it.

Haruka smiles at him and there is cheeriness in Mahiru's expression that wasn't there before.

Naruto smiles wider.

* * *

Their return is not exactly a quiet affair; he's late to a team gathering (well, Kakashi-sensei's yet to come so he doesn't consider himself late) so the two escort him to the meeting place.

Sakura-chan immediately flies into a beautiful rage and slams her fist in his temple, yelling at him. Haruka whistles, impressed, when Naruto's head hits the ground with an audible crack.

Mahiru clenches her teeth and wills herself to neither attack the insolent girl who dared punch the Clan Heir or start laughing.

The boy (whose name is Uchiha Sasuke, if Mahiru's intel is correct) snorts and stares at them. Haruka stares back. The girl turns around and glares at them, as if daring them to talk to him.

Haruka does so with a smile.

Mahiru seriously contemplates throwing herself off a bridge.

* * *

It's not really as bad as she imagined the confrontation was going to be. Sure, Haruno Sakura is more than annoyed that Haruka's talking with (or, well, _to_ , but that doesn't seem to make Haruka quit blabbing to the boy – normally nothing does) her 'One And Only', but she hasn't attacked yet, which is a plus. On the other hand, Naruto himself doesn't look like he knows whether to be amused or annoyed that Haruka's trying to establish a 'communicative partnership' with his rival, but Sasuke _does_ seem a bit irritated.

* * *

This is what Hatake Kakashi finds when he gets there, half an hour later: a glaring Sakura and a visibly exhausted Sasuke standing next to a rambling redhead with one of the strangest (and most nostalgic, because Uzumaki Kushina talked like that) dialects he has ever had the chance of hearing. There's a blue-haired girl he assumes to be a kunoichi, who's staring at nothing with a stoical expression.

Naruto's sitting on the ground, reading from a small, dark blue book with more fervor than when he's eating ramen (which is also very strange and a tad concerning; no one with that level of concentration should ever be allowed to read what Kakashi thinks is 'Fuuinjutsu For Dummies'. It's especially concerning because the 'For Dummies' editions on Fuuinjutsu have made numerous Jounin who've tried to study from them burst in tears and give up in the first ten minutes.)

(Kakashi had lasted an hour and a half before going to his sensei's girlfriend, handing her the booklet, and demanding she teach him Fuuinjutsu herself.

Kushina had made fun of him for that for years.)

"So," he begins, trying to defuse the tension between them, "I see we have some unexpected guests here." He'd known they'll come, of course. He just hadn't expected it to hurt quite so much. The two (no, three, Naruto counts as one too) Uzushio people just stare at him. Kakashi coughs awkwardly. This isn't his forte at all. "How about we all introduce ourselves? I'm Hatake Kakashi."

"…Uzutane Miharu." The blue-haired one says after a few seconds, and Kakashi has to keep an eyebrow from rising. He's never heard of any Uzutane Clan.

"And I'm Uzumaki Haruka! Nice to mee' cha!" The redhead answers with a brilliant smile. Sasuke twitches and opens his mouth. Too late, Kakashi remembers all of the things that might go wrong and curses himself.

Sakura cuts right across what the Uchiha boy wants to say (though, Kakashi is sure, it's completely unintentional).

"What do you mean, Uzumaki?" she turns to Naruto, an accusatory glare in place. "I haven't heard anything about you having a family!"

Her delivery is rather poor, the Jounin thinks as he watches the almost unnoticeable flinch Naruto makes. Still, Sakura is a good girl (if slightly misguided), so he's willing to close his eyes this one time.

Mahiru says nothing, but her mouth is pressed into an unimpressed line. Haruka's smile suddenly looks very sharp and very dangerous.

"Well, missy," Sakura looks as weirded out by her dialect as two hours ago, "Neither had we until a few days ago. If you want to know why no one has told us there is one of ours in your village," and Kakashi has to wonder if he's imagining the venom the last two words are coated in, because the girl hadn't said them in a different tone but it still makes shivers crawl up his back, "then you have to go talk to your Hokage."

They stand like that for a while, Haruka towering over the terrified girl, and no one dares to move.

Surprisingly, it's _Sasuke_ who breaks the tension.

"So does that mean you'll get stronger?" he asks Naruto, point blank, and the blond is taken aback for a moment before he grins, showing teeth.

"You bet I'll do!" He declares– no, _promises_ – and Sasuke gives him an almost invisible smirk. Sakura is looking between the two of them, trying to figure out what's going on.

Haruka's grin is almost feral. Mahiru brings up a hand and hides what is quite obviously the same bloodthirsty expression in her sleeve.

Kakashi suddenly remembers what the Hokage had told him during his briefing, about the other Uzumakis praying when they heard about Naruto being an active Leaf ninja.

He's tempted to follow their example, if only because of his gut instinct.

He's going to regret ever wishing to be added on the team instructor rooster. In fact, the silver-haired man thinks detachedly, monitoring the three Uzumaki's behavior, he may even regret being promoted to jounin.

He hadn't signed up for this kind of bullshit.

* * *

* _ **Saika uses the pronoun 'washi' when she's in the role of Head Priest, which is generally an older, masculine form of 'I'. Many old men talk like this, as does, if memory serves me right, the Third Hokage.**_

 _ **When she's off-duty, she uses the (in current times mostly masculine) pronoun 'boku'. Also, unlike in anime where tomboyish girls will most of the time use this pronoun, in the ACTUAL Japan you're going to get many weird looks and people will think of you as rude and uncivilized (or, in the worst case, either a weaboo or someone from the Red Districts that are technically forbidden but still exist) if you're a girl and refer to yourself as 'boku' (which, fun trivia, means literally 'I, a non-threatening man'). As such, Naruto's wondering why a small girl is using a male pronoun.**_

 _ **(And, for the curious, Saika speaks in formal, clipped Tokyo-ben.)**_

 _ ****Uzutane – I needed a term that fit the Uzushio residents as a whole, because they weren't just Uzumaki. I did play with the idea of them just adopting the Uzumaki surname because of it being the Founding Clan of the village and all, but it didn't sound as good so. Uzutane it is.**_

 _ *****Haruka talks with a Kansai dialect (specifically the Osaka-ben, not the Kyoto-ben one (which is much softer)) (the ones who, if female, often say 'uchi' as a personal pronoun; you're free to imagine it as a heavy Southern drawl if you think in English instead). Anime characters with Kansai dialect – Tojo Nozomi from LoveLive!, Naruko Shoukichi from Yowamushi Pedal, the whole cast from Lovely Complex…**_

 _ **ABOUT FOOD:**_

 _ **Tempura is lightly battered, deep fried seafood and vegetables. Ebi means shrimp, and shoving an ebi tempura whole in a small mouth without looking like a swine is very hard, I can tell you.**_

 _ **Nigirizushi – small rice balls with different types of fish on top.**_

… _ **aaaaand I think I got carried away with all that Japanese culture, but I'm not sorry that I did it. I**_ **am** _ **sorry that you have to sit through it, though. Seriously. I apologize.**_

 _ **(Please don't hurt me.)**_


	5. Chapter 5

So, I managed to update this (which is kind of a miracle). If I was a stupider being, I'd say I'd update once every month, but as I am not stupid and I actually know myself, I'll refrain from saying that so I don't give you guys false hope. (Sorry.)

* * *

When Sasuke finds out Naruto has relatives left alive, he's not sure what to say or to think. On one hand, he's jealous. Very, very jealous. But not because Naruto suddenly has a family – or, well, that's the reason, but as much as Sasuke wants to not be an orphan, he wants _his family_ , the one whose members are dead and he'll never see again, not just an Uchiha or two popping out of somewhere.

It's better for him to be alone, without other Uchihas around; he doesn't think that he'll take another Uchiha surviving the Massacre very well. Hell, he still cannot take _himself_ surviving the Massacre very well, and having to live with others sharing his blood under one roof when all he dreams about is that blood splattering on walls and floors, well…

Sasuke only half-listens to what the red-haired blabber-mouth's telling Sakura, but that's still enough information for him to worry about it. Sasuke may be no genius, even if he's labeled as one (and he's the farthest thing from a prodigy – that title's reserved for those who can do what _he_ did that night), but he's not stupid. If there is a family that bears Uzumaki as a family name, then why have they not been contacted that there is someone with that surname in Konoha? That's what all villages did after the end of the Third Shinobi War and then again, after the Kyuubi Attack because of the negotiations they made. Not to uphold such an important part of the peace agreement raises so many red flags Sasuke is seriously considering what exactly would have made the Hokage keep quiet about it.

Even though the blue-head's speech is clipped and smooth, just like how people talk in the more educated parts of Hi no Kuni, the dialect Haruka-the-annoyance speaks is eastern – that means they're most likely from some port town, even if Sasuke's sure no one there speaks quite like that. By the looks of it, Sakura hasn't made the connection yet, but he's not that surprised – most of the time, only Shinobi Clans broach the topic of dialects further than what's taught at the Academy, and even that's rare.

Sasuke has read all there is in the Uchiha Clan Library and even if he doesn't have his teammate's memory he recalls enough to make an educated guess about where the two are from – the most probable place is Kiri, or, well, one of its smaller villages.

Is it possible the Hokage just didn't want to lose such an asset to The Bloody Mist? Yes, it's entirely possible, considering how much the tension between the two villages has grown the last few years. But that would mean Naruto was a part of a Clan – something that is also entirely possible, even if the chances are slim – or that the Uzumaki are – at least – a Ninja Family that was famous during the last wars.

Sasuke doesn't know, and well, it's not like it matters anyway, so he doesn't want to waste time thinking about it. Something nags at him though, like it's not all there is to this, but he leaves it for later. He's going to listen all day, and then he'll research the possibilities. Naruto is _Naruto_ , but if someone tried to take him away from a family that quite obviously cares for him, he's got to find out who so he's careful. People like that are always dangerous and often unstable – it won't do if someone decides to curb his revenge just because they think it's the right thing to do.

There's tense silence no one wants to break between the six of them, and Hatake's watching him like a hawk, obviously waiting for a massive explosion of anger and jealousy and what-not. Sasuke has to smother down his snort. Sure, it hurts a lot that he's still alone while the idiot has found his family, and he's, _maybe_ , kind of scared that Naruto won't want to fight him anymore, because now he has a _Clan_. But do they _really_ think he's that unstable? That he'll attack a _teammate_ \- no matter how annoying or frustrating or stupid – just because he's had the fortune of finally finding his family?

Sasuke knows all of them think of him as a jerk (Sakura's opinion notwithstanding, because _seriously_ ), and he knows he's not the most polite person in the Academy, but when has he ever presented himself as bloodthirsty aside from when talking about his brother (which doesn't happen often)?

It kind of hurts, that they think so low of him. He vows to himself to rectify that – after all, Naruto went through all the trouble to show them he has matured (a bit) after their graduation, and he can't afford to stay behind.

"So does that mean you'll get stronger?" he asks Naruto, and hopes his voice is even and his face doesn't show anything. Sure, it's one thing when he admits things to himself, because being an Uchiha doesn't mean he automatically has no emotions or he represses them till they're almost gone – it's just the opposite, because he knows the worst thing that can happen to somebody is lying to himself, so he tries to be as honest with himself as he can.

And, well, telling himself is one thing, but other people finding out? That's something entirely different that isn't _ever_ allowed to happen, trying to be a bit more in tune with the teamwork shtick or not.

So he knows he thinks himself unworthy of having family anyway, be it blood or not. Knows it's not healthy. But he doesn't know if he's right or not, because it's obvious people are going to say 'of course you're worthy of having a family!' but even if it's the truth, they can't make him believe it. And people lie all the time, so why should he trust them anyways?

But Naruto grins at him and promises he will get stronger ( _promises he won't leave him_ ) and maybe out loud Sasuke doesn't acknowledge the blond, but he's thought of him as a rival for some time now and it's… comforting, in a way, to know Naruto's not going to drop him like a hot potato after he's found his family.

Sasuke can't fully rein in the response to the idiot's words, however, so he ends up smirking almost unnoticeably, but well. He's been kind of distracted this whole morning anyway. One tiny measly smirk isn't going to change anything, and no matter how out of place it is as a response to such a promise he knows Naruto will understand.

It's kind of unsettling that it doesn't worry him, but Naruto has been unsettling since the day they first met, so it's not something Sasuke is surprised about.

* * *

When Sakura introduces herself to the two girls, Haruka's eyebrows fly into her hairline and Mahiru shuffles ever so slightly back.

"Your father's family name really _is_ Haruno? I mean, it's written in that kanji?" she asks, and Naruto, Kakashi and Sasuke become even more confused.

Sakura blinks.

"Uhhh… yes it is?" she says, obviously just as lost as them.

"And your father has pink hair and uber strong punches and every single one of his clothes has a white circle somewhere on them?" Haruka adds, strangely tense. Sakura half-nods, then stops.

"Dad's punches aren't strong. And he doesn't really wear clothes like that. Mainly I do."

The two girls share an unreadable glance, and as one, grab each of Sakura's hands.

"We'll be back before ya know it!" Haruka bellows, dragging the stunned genin with her. Mahiru doesn't utter a word. The three males are left alone on the field.

The wind blows.

"Any chance whatsoever we're getting my subordinate back?" Kakashi asks, half-resigned and half-incredulous.

Naruto shakes his head with utmost certainty.

"No way in Hell, dattebayo."

Well. It's not like it's something unexpected. By the looks of it, Kakashi should pray for his student to come back in one piece, and preferably not traumatized for life.

(Instead, he prays she comes back a shinobi.)

(He doesn't know how much he's going to regret that prayer – the only one the Gods apparently acknowledged.)

* * *

It's not like their team is perfect, even if things _are_ getting better between the three of them these past three months. Sasuke is still an asshole most of the time and Sakura still has that same fangirl mindset and Naruto is still largely a dense loudmouth, but their teamwork isn't as horrendous as it was before.

They understand what orders are and know how to behave properly like a subordinate when someone important is watching (which isn't that often, but when it does happen, it allows Kakashi to breathe freely for the duration of that time because it's less likely the three of them are going to do something super stupid if they have to be respectful and polite).

Now that Naruto is properly training with people who want to help him and know what they're doing and Sakura is regularly kidnapped by Haruka and Mahiru (and by the looks of it, Kakashi really doesn't want to know what they're doing to her and how because they're trying to whip a civilian-born fangirl into shape and turn her into an actual, _valuable_ shinobi and it's somehow _working_ ), they've been firmly going up, and as much as Kakashi complains and puts them through hell, he's still proud.

For all the differences they may have, however, all four members of Team Seven are unanimous in their decision that D-ranks are _pure_ _hell_.

(The first time Kakashi tries to sneak away from a D-rank he's met with three furious genin and truly copious amounts of catnip _everywhere_.

His dog summons refuse his summoning for three weeks after that.)

* * *

Surprisingly, it's not Naruto who snaps about the "chores disguised as ninja missions" thing – it's not even Sasuke, who just shrugs when asked and says it's fun to see Naruto gradually tripping less over nothing, and it's definitely not Sakura, who still adamantly says she can keep doing them for as long as they need to, _because it's for the betterment of the village!_

(And when questioned by their peers, Team 7 just smirks and says, _you'll see, we'll get a C Rank first._ )

It's _Kakashi_ that cracks.

They've just completed the seventh 'Capture Tora the Demon Cat!' mission when Kakashi walks up to the Hokage's desk leisurely and hands him a small book.

"Free," he says seriously in his Important Mission voice, and Hiruzen raises an eyebrow.

"Really?" he asks mildly. "And what do you want in exchange for this 'free' book?"

Kakashi takes a deep breath. His genin lean forward, interested in what their sensei has to say. "Please, give us a C Rank!" and he falls in a Dogeza.

Shiranui Genma, one of the jounin stranded with desk duty today, snorts.

"Finally broke, huh, Hatake? Your lads are stronger than they appear, if it's you who breaks because of D Ranks first."

Kakashi, for his part, doesn't say anything, doesn't even lift his head from the floor, because _three months of D Rank missions would put anybody in a holding cell in the Torture and Investigation chambers, Shiranui, and you goddamn well know it_. The Hokage blows out the smoke from his pipe through his nose.

"Well, three months and forty-nine D Ranks are certainly impressive enough, not to mention none of you have complained about any of it yet…" He strokes the cover of the book Kakashi has given him and hums appreciatively. The three genin try very hard not to show any emotion on their faces. Genma smirks. "Very well then. There is one C Rank mission I can give you… but Naruto, your cousins will have to go with you as back-up."

Kakashi stands up and bows at the waist, murmuring a very grateful and relieved, "Thank you very much, Hokage-sama."

Team 7 takes the scroll and turns to face the Hokage for briefing, faces as blank as ANBU's masks.

Hiruzen coughs.

"You will escort a certain very important person to his hometown and will stay there with him, guarding him from bandits and other threats until he tells you you are free or until two months have passed."

"A certain very important person?" Sakura asks, titling her head. "It's impossible to be a noble, those are always at least B Ranks missions, so who…"

Hiruzen nods in her direction.

"That is certainly right, my dear. The person who you will be tasked with guarding is Tazuna the Bridge Builder, who is directly responsible with connecting the Fire Country and the Wave Country for future trades. You will meet him in three hours at the gate."

Kakashi takes over.

"Pack light; sealing scrolls are permitted. Be ready." The trio nods, for once all of them serious. The Hokage is mildly impressed. "Naruto, ask your cousins for any pointers; they've travelled a lot, from what I've heard. If there is something important we have to know, they should share with us."

"Yes, sensei," Naruto answers, face scrunched up, and Hiruzen has to stifle the amusement he feels; he's sure the boy's already thinking of how he will have to drag all his books about Fuuinjutsu with him.

"Team 7, dismissed." The Hokage booms, and the four of them disappear from his office without a trace.

Genma exhales heavily and proceeds to break down in hysterics.

"Evil, Kakashi," he says in between cackles, "your genin are _evil_."

Sarutobi exhales the smoke of his pipe from his mouth and silently agrees.

Outside, three genin are still trying to stifle their laughter.

* * *

The first thing Haruka does when she hears about the mission is stare blankly at the wall for a few seconds before curling into a ball in one of the corners of Naruto's small apartment and groaning loudly in her hands.

Mahiru looks like something very sour crawled under her tongue.

"Let's pack then," she says, and Naruto can _hear_ the snarl even if the bluenette's voice is monotone.

Haruka wordlessly stands up and starts placing scrolls into scrolls and those scrolls into another big scroll she places securely on her back. It's dark teal in color with gold ends and it's twice as wide as her but the redhead doesn't flinch or even falter so Naruto doesn't comment.

Mahiru tells him what to pack and he does what she tells him because _she's really scary right now actually_ and _what_ _ **is**_ _with this atmosphere?_

As if hearing his question (which she may have very well been, because Naruto tends to blurt things out without even realizing,) Haruka huffs.

"Civilians." She throws another bag of rations to Naruto, who barely catches it. "Because we're women or we're young or we're not muscled scarred men we're suddenly not good enough for this job. Just wait and see; this is gonna be torture – the person we're gonna have ta escort'll be complaining all da time until we kill someone and then they're gonna turn into a fucking scared rabbit because they suddenly realize we're not joking around."

When he thinks about it, Naruto finds it very likely that that's exactly what will happen. Because he has no patience for people who refuse to acknowledge others based on their _looks_ , of all things, he makes himself a cup of instant ramen to calm himself and lessen his urge to murder his client when the smart remarks begin.

* * *

In hindsight, maybe eating ramen wasn't the best idea Naruto had, because now there's the real possibility of it coming right back up. The moment he and his cousins see the figure closing in on the gate, two things pass through the blond's head.

The first one is, _please don't be our client._

The second one, _of course you're going to be our client._

The forceful exhale Mahiru tries to hide and the twist of Haruka's lips say everything about what _they_ think of the situation.

The man – whose name is Tazuna, apparently, and whose favorite pastime seems to be drinking low-quality sake, and really, he totally _stinks,_ Naruto can feel his lunch trying to climb its way back up – snorts when he sees them and grimaces when he finds out that _yes_ , they're the ones supposed to guard him.

"Three kids and two women? Are you ninja or a family out on a vacation?"

That is his opening sentence, and from there on, the situation goes extremely downhill, because that's not where his annoying comments stop.

"What are you, with your pink hair? You look like someone breathing in your direction is going to make you fall down!"

This is completely untrue, because for the past three months Sakura has built up some significant muscle with Naruto's cousins' help and her punch is strong enough to knock out Kakashi even when she's not pissed.

And right now, she's _very_ pissed.

"And that delicate prince over there!" Sasuke shoots the man a poisonous look that doesn't even faze him. "Are you a ninja or a noble, huh? I hired you to guard me, not for some princess to hide behind me when things need some hard work to be done!"

The Uchiha is understandably livid, but it seems like the man's on a roll; he's also surprisingly coherent for someone who's on their third bottle. Still, Kakashi lets him finish, because one, motivation, and two, training, because if it was a noble speaking that way to them they wouldn't be able to say or do anything about it.

"And not to mention that clown!" Naruto twitches. "What, blondie, not good enough to catch a real woman so you hang out with these two? What's ya mother teachin'ya?! I wanted strong ninjas, not babies!"

Haruka and Mahiru's faces become icy and their shoulders tense, though whether because of the 'real women' comment or the 'Naruto's mother' remark, Kakashi isn't keen on knowing. The rest of their team follows their example on varying reasons, one of them for sure the 'babies' comment one.

Still, even as far as training goes, this is a bit much, so he interferes.

"Tazuna-san, I can assure you every single one of us is perfectly capable of protecting you from simple bandits," and they all notice the minute flinch at that, even if no one comments, "so you don't have to worry."

The drunkard mumbles nonsense under his breath, but no one pays him anymore attention. They have to get going, and they should at least get out of Konoha before any of them attempt to murder their client. Trying to do so while still in the village will give them all very bad reputation, after all.

(Well, that, and Kakashi and Guy may or may not have a bet going on with the other jounin team leaders about whose team will crack first on a C Rank and give in to the urge to massacre their annoying client.

With twenty thousand ryo and the dignity of the other jounin on the table, there's no way Kakashi's losing.)

So they finally start moving, all of them studiously ignoring the bridge builder in various ways, and Izumo and Kotetsu wave them off, trying to hold in their laughter.

The entirety of Team Seven plus Mahiru and Haruka grit their teeth and hold their chins high, pretending this isn't going to be an all kinds of torturous experience.

And if there's one thing they are all good at, it's pretending.

Too bad that doesn't stop the feeling that this is going to violently explode in their faces from getting to them.

* * *

Two hours on the road later and a very, very tiny part of Kakashi is starting to doubt his decision on taking this mission. There are people tailing them – amateurs, still, because a puddle when it hasn't rained in over a week? _Really_? – but they are ninja nonetheless.

He's not sure if any of the others have noticed – oh, he'd like to believe Naruto's cousins _have_ , because they're shinobi just like him, but they have either better pokerfaces than he thinks they have or he's overestimating their abilities. The Hokage had told him they'd be invaluable allies should anything go wrong, however, so he's willing to wait a bit before judging.

Or, well, maybe he doesn't have to wait, because this is the exact moment their shadows decide to attack.

Kakashi should consider himself lucky he's been walking behind the two cousins the whole time, otherwise he wouldn't have managed to see their expressions when they come face to face with the enemy.

He'd planned to kawarimi himself out of the fight and see how his team would handle their first enemy attack. But as the bladed chains of the two – missing nin, Water country hitai-ate – wrap themselves around him, he can see it in their eyes as they turn around, kunai drawn. There is hate there, so potent and overwhelming it startles him.

Kakashi substitutes himself with a log and jumps between the client and his team, but he is not by any means laid-back anymore.

He'd forgotten that it was Water, along with Lightning and Earth, that destroyed Whirlpool. It's a stupid mistake, really, to think they won't hold a grudge just because they haven't lived through it.

Kushina had been anything but forgiving when someone made a mistake they didn't regret after, and she had told him too many times to count that the others had been the absolute same.

(Rin had asked her once, about the day Uzushio fell and if she had been afraid then. Kushina had quieted then, stared into space for an uncanny amount of time, and the air around her grew colder and colder and colder. Then she'd answered simply.

"It's 'the day Uzushio fell' because they couldn't bear to stay more."

It hadn't made sense then and it doesn't make sense even now, but on some level, Kakashi thinks he knows what she had meant when she'd said that.

If that was how the entirety of Uzushiogakure had looked like when they were attacked – _when they were protecting what was oh so precious to them_ – he thinks he wouldn't bear to stay more, too.)

(He wonders if there will be a time in the close future when he'll look like that when someone threatens his precious ones – whoever he may consider such.

Unsurprisingly, he doesn't want to find out.)

* * *

Sakura thinks that, out of her team, she knows Haruka-nee and Mahiru-nee's fighting abilities the best. Sure, Naruto trains with them, but they're more of his tutors because they teach him other things specific for his Clan and Village and history and secret techniques and her teammate's style differs from theirs a lot anyway.

But, from the day Team 7 met Naruto's cousins, they've been beating her into shape.

(" _We're not letting you waste this amazing potential,_ " _and all Sakura can feel is happiness even though it is supposed to be pain and hurt –_ they put her down with words and hits till she couldn't get back up _– because there are not one, but_ two _someones who look at her and see not a civilian-born, not a fangirl, but potential that's worth of realizing and there are tears burning behind her eyes and a lightness in her chest._

They tore her down and they'll build her back up, the way she is supposed to be built up, the way she deserves to be.)

So Sakura knows how strong the two are, knows how proud they are of their heritage, knows how much they love their village and their people.

She also knows they hate the villages that destroyed their home with a burning passion.

(And Sakura is no idiot, no heartless monster – the moment she finds out Naruto has – had? – a Clan, a history, a _family_ , she goes to the library and searches for everything she can find on the Uzumaki (and the Uzutane, even though she hadn't known it's just a name to call all from Uzushio blood then).

She's fuelled mainly by curiosity, yes, and what she finds is not nearly satisfactory enough, but. Cold, hard facts first, so she knows roughly what to steer clear of in conversations.

Then, she can begin asking her teachers about the details.)

And that's why Sakura knows, with absolute certainty, that those two Mist ninja aren't going to come out of this battle alive, no matter how much Naruto may plead.

(Fire burns – in her bones, in her blood, in her soul. It rages, for marble pillars and colorful mosaics and red and gold dawns and swirly songs and dances and stories and boisterous laughter and for never-will-bes.

And Sakura knows, with absolute certainty, that no matter what, she doesn't want those two Mist ninjas surviving anyway.

Not if they try to destroy something of hers.)

* * *

If hate was something that existed in the physical world, Sasuke thinks, this would be it. He cannot see their faces, but he doesn't need to, because their bodies say enough on their own.

Naruto has always said things first with his body and then with his mouth. It's no surprise his relatives work the same way.

Still, it's unsettling to see, and Sasuke considers Naruto, muscles tense the same way his cousins' are right now before banishing the thought into the darkest, most distant place in his mind.

(Naruto looks the best when he is genuinely happy. Hatred doesn't suit him.

Sasuke doesn't want to see Naruto _hating_ , because that feels an awful much like failure.

He catches Sakura's too knowing gaze and swears he won't fail.)

* * *

Haruka snaps the neck of one of the missing-nin. As if deaf to the other one's horrified scream and cut-off sob, she kneels him in the gut and breaks his knee and wrist with one fluid motion.

Naruto stands there, watching the bubbling hate in his cousins' movements, and he finds he cannot say anything, because it's not words that are needed here, it's understanding and acceptance.

So Naruto walks up to Haruka and Mahiru, holds their hands gently, and says, it's fine, no one will steal your home away from you anymore, no one will take from you and rip your precious ones apart.

The rest of Team 7 watch as the two girls' rage simpers down and disappears and strengthen their resolve as one. They may still not be a family, but Team Seven will be their one constant and they will be the main priority.

And, not even three feet away from them, Tazuna doesn't have the slightest idea that him understating this mission's Rank will cause the world to tilt on its axis for all the shinobi he's hired.

* * *

And the strings of Fate begin to weave a new, unrecognizable pattern on its loom.

* * *

 **Omake: Genin Test**

"What do you mean you aren't going to eat breakfast? You're going to your genin test today!" Tsugumi has her hands on her hips, glaring at him so hard Naruto's surprised he isn't dead yet.

Tsugumi is scary when she's angry, but she isn't the only one angry _or_ the only one scary, so Naruto just grins and tries to ignore the killing intent coming from all his relatives.

"Weeeeell, Kakashi-sensei told us not to eat breakfast or we'll puke–"

"And you believed him?" Tetsuya cuts in, sneering. "Tell me, brat, which one is worse – puking your guts out because you ate too much or dying because you went into combat unprepared?"

Naruto is silent, because that makes sense, but puking is also really unpleasant and what if he pukes while fighting?

When he voices this, four people stare blankly at him.

"Kid," Takeshi begins at last, "I've seen you eat twelve bowls of ramen in one sitting like it's nothing and then proceed to jump around like a squirrel the next eight hours. Compared to that, a breakfast and a three-hour fight aren't going to do anything to your stomach. And if you _do_ somehow manage to make yourself puke during the exam, puke on the jounin. That's gonna be your payback at the very least."

Naruto sits down and thinks. Tsugumi forces an onigiri down his throat. Tetsuya, Takeshi and Isamu studiously ignore this.

Naruto chokes on it and swallows.

"Do I need to shove the others in too?" the girl asks, smiling, two more onigiri in each hand.

Naruto does the wise thing and stuffs them in his mouth with lightning speed without complaining. Isamu slurps his Sansai Soba and tries not to laugh.

* * *

In the end, Naruto is late to the test (even if only by fifteen minutes), with three bentos in his backpack and an order to behave as much as he can, not create any enemies, and not shame the clan. (The snorts of the others at the end of the small speech old man Takeshi had given speak enough of Tsugumi, Tesuya and Isamu's belief of what will really happen. Still, at least he tries.)

(He also waits until all three of them are hit with the old man's geta for laughing and for not following the rules he had also told them to get going.

In the end, the fifteen minutes, the truly inhumane screeches of Sakura about responsibility and not being late and the sneer he gets from Sasuke are all worth it.)

Naruto shares his food with his teammates, tries not to strangle Sasuke, and tries not to feel hurt when Sakura rejects him (again). He also uses his Harem jutsu to ambush their absolutely horridly late sensei, which allows Sakura to ultrapunch him and knock him out, tie him up on one of the stumps and take the bells.

Sakura punches the blond after she gives him her bell and Sasuke, nose bleeding and face redder than the symbol on his back, throws a whole waterfall of expletives at him for what amounts to roughly ten minutes. Sakura is quickly disillusioned of Uchiha Sasuke's 'mysterious charm' and 'quiet politeness' and when the swear words get absolutely unbearable, even for her 'Sasuke is perfect' fangirl mindset, she punches him too.

Kakashi wakes up to two genins sitting on the ground with bruised temples and a fuming pink-haired monster he has to squint to recognize as actually Sakura. When he tries to get their attention, Sakura-the-monster turns to face him with a growl and glowing eyes.

Kakashi smiles and ignores the shivers that are definitely _not_ crawling up his back.

"You pass!"

.

The lecture about teamwork he gives them later is met with suitably blank looks. When he finishes, Naruto scratches his head and squints up at Sakura.

"So," he says at last, "I distract, you punch, and Sasuke finishes what's left of them?"

Sakura actually tilts her head and think about it. A few seconds pass in silence.

"Yeah, that's roughly about it."

Sasuke shrugs. The other two take it as the Uchiha Clan's version of 'I'm game', and smile.

It's around that time that Kakashi starts actually thinking about what he has just done and just what he has unleashed on the world.

The Harem-Megapunch-Flameball combination technique is quickly forbidden to be used in any situation that isn't absolutely hopeless or life-threatening.

(Unfortunately for Kakashi and the rest of the world, that safety measure doesn't curb the dread he feels, only lessens it.

Well. It's not like they're going to be using it on him again anytime soon anyway, so why worry?)

* * *

 _ **Is that omake what actually happened on the day of the Genin exam? Who knows! I certainly would like it if it was, but you can decide for yourself whether or not that's how things actually went down that day.**_

 _ **Anyway, Sakura and Sasuke are nice characters who I love to play with, but I don't know if I portrayed their transition from 'dislike' to 'teammate' (if that can even be coherently understood, I'm sorry my thought process is strange) realistically enough (which is what the omake is for, in part, and in part because I didn't know where to include it so it just stayed hanging like this.)**_

 _ **If you have any suggestions or criticisms, please do tell me so I can fix it!**_


	6. Chapter 6

This chapter is short and late and I hate it with my heart and all my other organs. They're screaming and trying to burn this, that's how much they hate it because this chapter was just PLAIN TORTURE.

(Also my left shoulder hurts like a bitch all the time but especially when I'm sitting down or typing or writing with a pen which means now me writing is directly connected to me in pain, which is not exactly good for my brain because PSYCHOLOGY.

And I desperately need sleep. Help.)

(And I forgot to post this here, so it's a few days late. Forgive me?)

* * *

The result of the fight, just like Mahiru had predicted, is this: Tazuna refuses to walk close to the two Uzutane, even when it means his safety will be guaranteed. Neither of the two looks like this bothers them, so Sakura starts chatting with the bridge builder and tries to distract him with questions about his homeland.

It works, for the most part.

Then Momochi Zabuza appears.

* * *

Mahiru wants to go home, bury herself in layers of blankets, fall asleep and never wake up again. This mission is getting truly ridiculous, even by Uzutane standards.

Momochi Zabuza, part of Kiri's Seven Swordsmen, attacks.

Naruto thinks for all of three seconds, swarms the place with Shadow Clones and makes Sasuke throw a Fuuma shuriken at the Missing-nin.

It _works_.

(For the most part.)

Then Haruka steps forward, expression stone cold, and Mahiru lets go of any lingering delusions that today will be a good, peaceful day.

Instead, she starts preparing herself for war.

* * *

Haruka has mentioned offhandedly that she'd been born on Kiri territory, but Sakura hadn't given it much thought until now. The way her mentor is eyeing their opponent is scary and unsettling, and not the kind she's used to getting every day during training.

"What's the current situation with the Yondaime Mizukage." She asks the swordsman – even though it feels more like an order to everybody present.

Still, the redhead looks like she's going to resort to everything to get her answer, even sucking the information out of his half-dead body if he refuses to respond. And because most ninja in Kiri may be bloodthirsty enough to want to murder their own on a daily basis, but they are definitely not stupid, and with Sharingan Kakashi and three Uzutane he hasn't got good chances of making it out of this alive, after a lengthy staring match Zabuza gives up. Or, well, that's what Sakura's thinking at least.

Of course, he tries to keep at least a bit of his pride intact.

"Born in Kiri?" He asks, disregarding any other present company.

Haruka bares her teeth – shiny and square like everybody else's – but it seems to carry some sort of importance because Zabuza's mask twists up and his eyes gleam with interest.

"Born and raised," she corrects with what sounds like a growl, and Sakura with surprise finds that the swordsman's and her accent match now. It sounds like waves hitting sandy beaches and sharks tearing their prey apart, the pronunciation curt and brutal and jagged, so different from the usual almost lazy drawl of the vowels she's come to associate with the Uzumaki.

She's never heard anyone speak like that before.

She wants to learn how to.

"I am also," and now Haruka's expression is even more feral, that's also something Sakura wants to learn how to do, "a born and raised Uzumaki."

* * *

Mahiru has known Haruka for as long as she could remember, and as such she knows what to do when the redhead gets into one of her moods. Depending on the situation, she might call Haruka's mother, or Higanbana Ran, or even the Acting Clan Head.

Now, she just leans back and watches the fireworks.

* * *

Naruto knows Clan names have power – he's heard of numerous situations in which enemies and allies alike have run away from battles just because of a mere surname. Because he grew up as an orphan, he doesn't really get it until this moment, what it means to be a part of a Clan and bear its name.

The minute the haho-swordsman hears their family name, his face becomes ashen and his features twist into something even more bloodthirsty.

"Well, that's a surprise, isn't it now. An Uzumaki in Kiri." It doesn't sound like he's surprised, rather – content? Or like his birthday has come early. Naruto's not exactly sure he wants to know why.

Haruka hums in agreement but continues to stare unflinchingly at him. It's vaguely unsettling.

"How about a deal then? I'll tell you what I know, and in return you'll fight me without holding back. At least I'm gonna get a kick out of this shitty excuse of a job."

Haruka hums again, but this time like she's just confirmed something she's been wondering about for awhile. Her bloodlust doesn't lessen in the slightest.

"Hatake Kakashi is the jounin commander for this operation," Mahiru throws in quietly. Naruto barely manages to hold his flinch – he'd almost forgotten she was there.

The Zabuza person turns his wide-eyed stare on her.

"I think I'll take out the Uzumaki first, thanks. I don't want to get caught in some sort of freaky seal and get my spleen sent to the Tsuchikage."

Mahiru's expression doesn't even twitch, but the blond can _feel_ the smugness Haruka is suddenly radiating.

"As you wish."

Naruto is left with the irritating feeling that he's missing something important.

* * *

In the end, some Kiri-nin appears and kills that Zabuza person. Naruto is very confused because that tracking nin smells suspiciously like fear when he looks at them, and worry when he looks at the crazy sword-haho, but doesn't say anything. Well, kinda.

Okay, he glances at Mahiru-nee and does one of the only Uzushio ANBU signs he's learned – 'enemy'. She hums and her lips twitch in that aborted kinda movement that means she's proud, which he tries not to beam at because – hey, he's not stupid enough to show emotion on the battlefield, even if it's affection from Mahiru-nee, rare enough as it is.

The enemy in a mask hasn't even lifted their head to address them when the bluehead slams two palms on the ground, black lines crawling from underneath like spiders. Naruto knows now enough about seals to recognize a sleep-inducing one, albeit a modified one, and a fire lights in his heart. Making instant seals like that is the mark of a true genius, the mark of an Uzumaki, and he's going to learn how to do that even if he has to die.

Sure enough, the person loses consciousness almost immediately and collapses on top of the Zabuza person.

Then Kakashi-sensei drops on the ground like a sack of turnips. Haruka's shark smile becomes wide enough to make someone's cheeks ache just by looking at it. Mahiru's mouth does something funny that he's come to associate with, 'whoops', which means it's definitely her fault, and Naruto can't help it – he cackles. Sasuke throws him a scalding glare as he picks their sensei up. Sakura's giggling is audible.

Sasuke holds him up for what amounts to three seconds before he drops him unceremoniously on the ground, turning his nose up, and says he smells like wet dog.

Haruka _chokes,_ holding her sides while falling on her knees, hiccupping with unrestrained, exuberant laughter. Sakura and Naruto follow.

Naruto can smell the exasperation Sasuke's feeling in the moment. He can't help it when an image of a cat-Sasuke hissing and spiting around pops in his head.

He laughs harder.

* * *

Hatake Kakashi knows, even before he's fully conscious, that this mission is going to be even more of a headache than he'd thought before.

Still, because he's a professional, Kakashi doesn't pretend to be asleep just to avoid the absolute bullshit that awaits him.

(He's perfectly aware he won't be able to deceive anyone.)

"A week has passed since our confrontation with Momochi Zabuza and his apprentice." Uzumaki Mahiru's voice is bland and there is a cough disguised as a laugh coming from her right that's definitely Naruto.

"I did not faint because of chakra exhaustion." Kakashi refuses to open his eyes and face the practical joke that his life has become.

"No, you did not."

There's some sort of a mocking edge in the girl's voice, and damnit, but Kakashi absolutely loathes people who like to shove his smaller reserves in his face. He's made to be an assassin, not a bijuudama given human form. He can't make all things in a three kilometer radius explode and cease to exist, but he can be _subtle_ , which is leagues more than those Uzumaki powerhouses can do.

"Mahiru fucked up the seal she used," and that's definitely Haruka, eating rice with a fish sidedish that stinks up the whole room. The smell is so intense Kakashi has trouble concentrating on her words. Luckily, they decide to elaborate.

"I used a seal that was supposed to knock out all males who have begun or ended puberty. I… was careless enough to forget who I was travelling with."

Dear Inugami, but why has such a specific seal been invented? If there was no proof before to the 'Uzumaki Clan in its entirety is absolutely bonkers' theory then this will be the main contender.

(And also, again with the dig to his (perfectly normal!) chakra reserves. He'll show them 'careless' when they're begging for mercy by the time they've come back to Konoha.)

"Why did we make such a specific seal?" Haruka asks, and then Kakashi realizes he's grimacing. The thing is, even with him having almost twenty years experience being a paid killer he can't mask his feelings about how utterly ridiculous everything in his life is. Ever.

"I'm pretty sure someone was just bored." Mahiru's soundly amused, and goddamnit, Kakashi has never felt the urge to hit a kid but Uzumakis as a whole are getting under his skin just by _breathing_ and he refuses to allow that.

"Report, Team 7," and the exasperation in his voice is audible. Good. That means the level of bullshit he has to deal with today will lessen by a fraction.

He's got to count wins where he sees them or else he'd have followed his family's example years ago.

* * *

When Zabuza wakes up, it's a sluggish thing, which is the first thing that sparks concern in him. A little stretching of his diminished chakra ( _exactly what kind of things did they do to him to drain him so much?_ ) tells him he's stationary. That lessens the possibility of him being transported to Kiri (or, you know, _dead_ ), though not by much.

He's lying on a futon, in a room, and there's the telltale faint buzzing of chakra underneath him that signals sealwork. (Hm, this is the most likely reason for his missing chakra…)

Though, this is all sensed, mapped and catalogued purely by instinct and over twenty years of practice. In reality, Momochi Zabuza's first coherent thought is not to dwell on any of those findings, nor is it dedicated to forming a plan to get away.

The first thing that comes up in his mind is a desperate and lost, 'where's Haku'.

Because even before Zabuza had forsaken the Mist, even before his comrades were forced to kill each other because of a madman, Haku had been right at his side, through all of it and more. They're not together _all_ the time, but even when Haku's on missions Zabuza knows roughly where he is and what he's doing, and it's the same for his apprentice. They both get stressed when the other is somewhere they don't know, and they're inseparable in all other situations to feel like he's missing something whenever Haku goes out to do his thing.

To say that finding Haku missing worries Zabuza would be a gross understatement. Captured by enemies or not, he _needs_ to find his kid, and if he doesn't then seal or not he's going to come down so hard on those Konoha nin's heads they'd wish it was the Kyuubi attacking them instead.

Before he can do good on his promise of mass destruction (or do something extremely stupid, like demanding to know where Haku is), he detects movement on his right and turns. Haku is mashing some sort of herb plant in a bowl, looking so concentrated on his task it makes Zabuza want to laugh out loud and ruffle his head.

Stifling such unnecessary urges, the Kiri nin in scans his apprentice for injuries. There aren't any at first glance, if one excludes the unnatural paleness and the dark circles, and the boy's dressed in comfortable, soft-looking kimono that tells him he's been at least acceptably treated these past few days. It's even in the Kirigakure colour and style, which shouldn't surprise Zabuza so much. That redhead did say she was born and raised on Kiri ground, after all.

The wide sleeves and the orange polo do nothing to hide the black lines and characters curling up and down all over Haku's palish skin, however, and it makes the man very, very angry.

"They sealed your chakra?" It's not a question, even though it's phrased as one. Of course they sealed his fucking chakra, which is why he looks like all colour has been leeched off his skin.

Haku turns slightly in his direction and nods, titling his face down.

"Zabuza-sama–" and he knows his kid well enough to know when he's swimming in guilt and when he's going to break down apologizing, so he interrupts before things get even worse.

"There's nothing to be apologizing about," and it's not, really. There is a reason why Kiri decided to destroy Uzushio, and it certainly wasn't only out of bloodlust. It is embarrassing that some teenager tricked them like it was nothing, but it's an instance they better learn something from. No more underestimating opponents, even if they look like small children.

He should know better, really – he has Haku himself, after all.

"So," it's more work that he wants to admit to keep his voice even, "what are they going to do with us now? Sell us?"

The shoji door just behind Haku slams open.

"Thank you for asking!" The redhead from before exclaims and puts her hands on her waist. The blond one who could pump out Shadow clones like they were normal Bunshin and the blue-haired one who made that seal are right behind her.

The three of them stare him down, and the tilt of their mouths is stubborn and sharp. The redhead's eyes are wide and sparkling with barely restrained bloodlust. It's a familiar expression to those of Kiri, and it soothes Zabuza just the slightest bit to know he can read at least one of them.

"Momochi Zabuza, as the one who led the coup against the Fourth Mizukage, we need you to help us organize one that will succeed. If you do so, we will let you and your apprentice go."

 _What._

* * *

Even though he'd been warned, Haku still can feel shivers crawl up his back when Haruka-san requests their help. A coup good enough to shift the tides even a little is hard enough to organize; what she's asking is for is a _revolution_ , one that will succeed at one hundred percent.

Haku watches his master's shocked face and deigns not to say anything. He'd already called the bunch of them crazy the first time they explained to him what they needed their help for, and doing so for a second time is unnecessarily rude.

They all politely wait until Zabuza-sama's gathered his bearings and sworn his surprise and disbelief out (it takes a couple of minutes). Then the blond one – Naruto-san, if Haku remembers correctly – grins at them.

"Wow, so many new words to use, dattebayo!" The bluehaired girl in the back twitches like she wants to hit him upside the head, and Haku can't deny that he relates to that feeling. Of course he'd never touch a hair of Zabuza-sama's head, but sometimes even Haku's everlasting patience threatens to snap. Then, because Haku is a softie, Zabuza-sama is denied his sword for up to half a day.

It does wonders to curb his more reckless tendencies.

Zabuza-sama closes his eyes for a moment and exhales slowly. When he opens them again, his gaze is sharp and interested.

"I hope you've already started planning."

Haruka-san's grin widens.

* * *

"Gatou is an annoying pest that should be removed," Mahiru-san says the same evening, and she looks positively murderous for someone washing the dishes. Haku finds it easier to smile around the Uzumaki and the other Konoha ninja, and though it may be a little alarming, it's also very freeing.

Sasuke-san snorts from where he's sprawled on the floor with a few scrolls about Fire Jutsu that Haruka-san mentioned she had 'lying around' earlier. It's very funny to watch them try to out-lie each other, and if he's judging his teammates' expressions correctly, he's not alone.

"He's just a civilian – it'd be easy enough to get rid of him."

Sakura-san hums and leans back in her chair, not even glancing away from her own scroll.

"You just jinxed us, I hope you know that." Haku wouldn't have guessed that Naruto-san was someone who believed in luck or jinxes or anything other than a person's own will, but from what he'd heard Uzumaki people were religious when there were still many around, and for all they worshipped gods and spirits, not once had they ever said anything about destiny. He'd have to wait and see, he guesses.

Hatake-san smiles with his one eye and ruffles the blond's hair. "A little challenge never hurt anybody, right?"

The Genin's faces blank remarkably fast for pre-teen tree-hugger genin, and they turn to face their teacher and snarl as one, looking vicious enough to snap bones with just one bite. A choked off sound comes from where Haruka-san is currently seated, and the girl leans forward to hide her cackling. Mahiru-san just hides her face in her hands and starts banging her head on the table. There is a story here, one Haku thinks is very entertaining. A glance in Zabuza-sama's direction reveals he feels the same.

The question is already forming at the tip of his tongue when Haku remembers himself. He shuts his mouth with a quiet clack that echoes like thunder in his ears, and grits his teeth. This is a new territory, something that should have never happened, something that should not be thought about and instead studiously ignored.

Hatake-san's hand wanders too close to the top of Naruto-san's head. The Uzumaki, deep in his Sealwork book, swivels in the hand's direction and snaps at it with too-sharp teeth. Sakura-san giggles, and Sasuke-san kicks Naruto-san's shin approvingly. Hatake-san pouts.

Zabuza-sama's wide eyes meet his apprentice's.

Haku thinks he can get along with these people, and that scares him.

* * *

The night is cold and moist in a way Haruka hasn't felt in years. She wonders, sometimes, if the weather on the Uzushio Island was similar to what Mist has, but it's not a thought she lets linger.

What-ifs are the easiest way to waste your life, and Haruka has absolutely no desire to get swept into _that_ whirlpool, not when there is still so much to do and so much to see.

The sound of ninja sandals on grass is too quiet to be made from anyone but a Jounin, and Haruka adjusts her sitting space so that there is place for one more. She's not disappointed – only seconds later, Zabuza scales the tree and crouches on her right.

The two of them stare at the night sky in silence, neither of them moving. Haruka is on her twentieth constellation when the man finally speaks.

"There were rumors," he begins quietly, "that the Yondaime Mizukage had Uzushio blood in his veins."

Haruka's breathing stops, just for the barest of moments.

"Really," she manages to peel the word away from the roof of her mouth with some effort. The admission is slimy and sticky and it gets everywhere on her – it makes her feel dirty, because it feels an awful lot like betrayal, this one word.

The Demon of the Mist just hums, but Haruka knows that even if she hadn't reacted, hadn't said anything, he'd still know. They were close, Momochi Zabuza and the unknown Mizukage candidate who, against all expectations, ended up nabbing the mantle after the manic Third Mizukage hit the rock-hard bottom of the sea.

They were close, so the stinging sensation of a knife in the back when Yagura made the situation so much worse despite his promise – his _oath_ – to make Kirigakure great again is so much more painful, carries so much more acidic treachery than it does for most others.

"I won't ask," Zabuza says, calm like the waters just above sharp, hard rocks, deceptively mild. "I won't ask, but I'd pray you know what the fuck you're doing if I was in your place, girlie, because if you drag us into enemy territory over nothing, I'll leave you for Tailed Beast food."

Don't worry, Haruka thinks but doesn't say, tracing the Dragon Dance with narrowed eyes. I won't fail this.

After all, I've only been preparing for this since I was eight.


End file.
